Tossed and Found
by Sagi-chan
Summary: COMPLETE Something unexpected happens after the Forbidden Child is cast away from his home. He's found. Non-yaoi. Featuring Yoko Kurama and baby Hiei!
1. Tossed and Found

Disclaimer: I don't own any character or object found in the Yu Yu Hakusho series. Are you happy now?  
  
  
  
  
  
Summary: Something unexpected happens after the Forbidden Child is cast away from his home. He's found.  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Tossed and Found  
  
  
  
Youko Kurama sighed, staring around the icy wasteland he had been wandering in for the last week. He was searching for a certain type of plant that happened to thrive in a frozen environment. Searching with little luck. An icy wind picked up, blowing his long silver hair behind him like a fan. Golden eyes squinted into the distance, hoping to see some sort of plant life.  
  
Nothing, there wasn't even a mirage to try and trick his brain with. Stupid ice.  
  
With another sigh, Kurama ran a hand through his hair and pulled out a seed. With a boost of his ki, it began to grow into a suitable shelter for the night. A few small fruits appeared on the branches, ripening within seconds. He took one and sat down to rest, eating with relish.  
  
/Stupid ice world,/ he muttered internally. /Stupid plant seed that probably doesn't even exist anymore.../ He finished the first piece of fruit and tucked the seeds into a pocket of his cloak so he could clean them later. Then, plucking another from the tree he continued with his internal grumbling.  
  
His sharp ears eventually picked out a sound that wasn't blistering wind and he glanced up, instantly on guard. What confused him was that it was the sound of something falling. Then something landed on his tail and he jumped to his feet, as best he could, a seed to his Death Tree already in his hand.  
  
"WAHHH!"  
  
Blinking, Kurama bent down and examined the small child now laying under the tree. Actually, it was an infant, barely a week old. Fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, the saying popped into Kurama's mind out of no where, yet is somehow managed to fit the situation. From the looks of the scratches on its skin, it had fallen through the branches. And from the smell of it, it was a Koorime.  
  
A *male* Koorime. But by the heat of this Koorime's skin, it was also a fire demon, which made it even stranger.  
  
"WAHHH!" The piercing wails managed to get louder, and it was all Kurama could do not to cry along with it.  
  
With tentative steps, Kurama moved closer to the infant and tried to take a closer look. "Crying will get you nowhere." He finally said dryly.  
  
With a sniffle and a tiny, cute looking glare, the child quieted. Kurama returned the look and bent to remove the boy from the frozen ground. "Thrown out of your own home?" He asked musingly, not expecting an answer. Heck, it was in infant for Inari's sake! "A forbidden child then. A fire demon born of the Ice Apparitions." He frowned, noticing that the child was now looking content enough to sleep.  
  
"Oh happy day," he muttered dryly. "I don't find my plant, I find a baby. What a great substitute."  
  
There was a whistling sound and something else fell from the sky, managing to fall directly on Kurama's head. A tear gem, attached to a thick leather throng. On the throng was written a name.  
  
"Hiei."  
  
  
  
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So, just tell me what you think. If I get enough feed back (and by that I mean positive feed back) I'll continue with this. I don't enjoy flames, but I tend to ask for constructive critizism. Just don't be too harsh.  
  
  
  
Kurama: oh! He's a cute little baby!  
  
Hiei: Kurama, don't make me kill you.  
  
  
  
  
  
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	2. Kra'ma

Yu Yu Hakusho does not belong to me!  
  
AN Here's chapter two, it's rather short but so is my idea flow. I'd be happy to accept any torture Kurama suggestions *cough* I mean "ideas" for this fic. just let me know.  
  
  
  
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Chapter 2  
  
Kra'ma  
  
  
  
There were many things in Kurama's life that he should be less then proud of, but he was sure nothing he did was equal to the punishment he had been given. Hiei had somehow turned into a small innocent looking leach, refusing to remove the frighteningly tight grasp he had on Kurama's hair.  
  
For the past three months.  
  
Not for the first time did the silver haired Youko consider shearing off his hair, but if he did that, Hiei might start latching onto his tail instead. And that would definitely hurt a heck of a lot more if that was pulled, not to mention he couldn't exactly remove it.  
  
And Kurama had no one to complain to, as Hiei was still slumbering peacefully. In fact, the only times the demon *wasn't* sleeping was when it was eating, crying, or depositing a horrible smelling present somewhere in Kurama's den and then leaving a trail of small, dirty, and equally smelly footsteps away from it.  
  
Casting a glare at the still sleeping half-Koorime, Kurama decided to catch a quick fox-nap before heading out again. He was supposed to meet an ice demon who might have the plant he wanted.  
  
Stupid ice.  
  
Closing his eyes, the fox had just began drifting into a Hiei free dream when a piercing wail and a tell-tale tug at his scalp jerked him back to reality. Praying that he was just experiencing a pain induced nightmare, Kurama kept his eyes closed. Another tug and that same banshee like wail repeated themselves and Kurama reluctantly opened his eyes.  
  
"WHAT?!" He half yelled, half whined.  
  
Hiei winced, his blood red eyes welling up with even more tears. "Kra'ma," he said in a tiny, sniffily voice.  
  
Kurama practically melted at that, his name was Hiei's very first word. Two tears of absolute happiness leaked down the fox spirits face before his sharp nose caught a whiff of a very familiar smell.  
  
So he then acted like any responsible adult with a child should when he realized what it meant. He burst into tears and let out a piercing wail that rivaled Hiei's. "Hiei, not *again*!"  
  
Looking down at the warm pile now atop of the discarded shirt, yet underneath Hiei's bare toosh, he sighed. After dropping a seed on the pile, knowing that it would take root after only a moment or so, he looked at the now naked demon and frowned. He then picked the demon up, being careful to avoid contact with anything that would transfer the smell onto him and carried the small child out of his den. With a glance back, he sent a burst of his ki into the seed, relieved when he could no longer detect the scent that seemed to haunt him.  
  
"Kra'ma! Kra'ma! Kra'ma!" Hiei happily chanted, pulling the silver hair dangling in front of him as they walked along the path towards a small sun-warmed stream. Hiei caught sight of the water and instantly paled, as any normal child would do.  
  
"KRA'MA! KRA'MA! KRA'MA!" The baby began to panic, kicking his feet in attempt to get away from his inevitable bath. With a burst of his steadily rising spirit energy, Hiei's skin began to heat until Kurama could no longer hold him for fear of burning his hands. The small, and not to mention naked, demon landed on the ground. The grass instantly caught the baby and began pushing him into the water. With a hiss of steam, Hiei was pushed down into the water of the bank and he sat there pouting.  
  
"Kra'ma." He muttered as more water was heated into steam around him.  
  
"Hiei," Kurama said, stepping into the water in front of the demon and squatting down to be close to eye level. "Will you promise to not complain about bath time if I buy you a nice present in town today?" And by 'buy' he meant 'steal'.  
  
"Kra'ma?" Hiei asked, inquiring about the present.  
  
"That's right, but you have to behave." After a moment of thought, Kurama added another requirement in the deal. "And no more leaving presents inside the den, understand?"  
  
"Kra'ma!" Hiei nodded, lowing his body heat and splashing in the water.  
  
And of course, like any child would do, the fire demon refused to leave the bath when he had been pronounced clean. And by the time the silver haired Youko got him out, the boy had learned a new word.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hiei screamed as Kurama literally dragged him away from the stream and back into his den. The scream kept up while the fox placed him in a clean shirt and began walking towards town. If anything, it proved that Hiei had very strong lungs and vocal cords.  
  
  
  
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Kurama: irritating little brat...  
  
Hiei: serves you right, you know it all youko.  
  
Please review!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	3. Clown Flambé

Don't own it!  
  
AN Hey, chapter three! Tell me what you think of the chapter titles, alright? (strange requests for the strange at heart...) Anyway, I'm still searching for idea's on how to torture Kurama. Let me know!  
  
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Chapter 3  
  
Clown Flambe  
  
"Kra'ma." Hiei sulked from the confines of the Youko's arms. Rather, the underside of one of his arms as the fox spirit needed one hand to reach for seeds in case of the need for a fight or quick get away.  
  
"Hey Youko," one green demon said as the two passed. "Are you stealing babies now?" That demon, and a group of similarly colored ones began laughing uproariously at the clever joke that had been spoken nearly fifty times in the last ten minutes.  
  
Golden eyes flashed in the direction of the voice, but the Youko said nothing except for making a small noise in the back of his throat. It sounded suspiciously like a growl, though articulated it was more of a "hn."  
  
"HN!" Hiei shouted, waving franticly at the demons.  
  
A moment or so later that very group noticed the air around them had gotten very warm. And that they were engulfed in smoke. And that black flames were slowly devouring their flesh.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
"Good boy, Hiei!" Kurama said absently, stopping to stare at a large collection of very expensive swords, vases and other items. Thief senses already in gear, he walked calmly into the shop. Hiei in one arm, the other trailing over items of higher value.  
  
"Kra'ma!" Hiei laughed, pointing at an extremely sharp and lethal looking little sword. Though Hiei himself was small, the sword seemed to be the perfect size for him. "Hn!" He wiggled out of the Youko's grasp and started toddling forwards. After a moment he lost his balance, crashed on his rear and began crawling.  
  
"The boy has good taste," a voice suddenly said from behind them, most likely the shop owner. "Though he's wasting his time just looking at it. That sword is rumored to be enchanted to slice through anything as though it were water. However nobody has been able to wield it, for it's power is so great that only the oldest and strongest can invoke the..." He continued babbling as the kitsune quickly lost interest.  
  
Instead said kitsune turned to look at a collection of vases that looked as though they would crumble at the slightest wind. He quickly lowered their value to dirt. A sudden crash behind the Youko and store owner caused them to whirl around in complete surprise.  
  
And there sat Hiei, clutching the sword in one fist and staring in complete awe at the perfectly sliced, and now flaming, pedestal in front of him.  
  
"Hiei!" Kurama cried rushing forwards, scooping up the child and hugging him tightly. "Are you alright? Did you hurt your self? What did you do?"  
  
The shop owner, on the other hand, was staring blankly at the small portion of the strangely blue faced infant that was visible (wasn't his face white before?). "But, how... only the oldest and strongest... I don't..." He sat down hard in complete confusion and Kurama decided that he should probably leave. Unbeknownst to him, Hiei was still clutching his little sword.  
  
"S'wish," Hiei burbled happily, laughing as they continued down the street. He used his free hand to latch onto the silver hair and pulled, wanting the kitsune's attention. "S'wish!" He held up the sword for all to see.  
  
"You little demon!" Kurama laughed, taking a hold of the sword and gently pulling it from the fire demons grasp. He studied it carefully, noticing its value was much higher then he originally put it. He patted Hiei's head and quickly placed the sword in his personal space, a sort of air pocket into which he placed all his thieved items.  
  
Hiei whimpered as it disappeared.  
  
"You'll get it back later," Kurama promised as he started walking again. "If I didn't put it away, you wouldn't be able to keep it."  
  
"Hn." The reply was cute and childlike, but Hiei was definitely starting to pout.  
  
In a bad attempt to get the fire demon's mind off of his new 'toy', Kurama pointed at a group of demons on the side of the street. "Look Hiei, clowns!"  
  
Indeed, the brightly dressed group were decked out completely as clowns. One was twisting balloon animals, another was cracking jokes, two more were performing acrobatic's with ease of preforming many times in the past.  
  
Hiei took one look at the strangely garbed and painted group, screamed in absolute terror, and set them all on fire with his spirit energy. The clowns screamed in terror that rivaled the one they originally frightened and quickly disintegrated into ashes.  
  
"HN!" Hiei shouted loudly before hiding his face in Kurama's chest and starting to cry.  
  
Kurama rolled his eyes and walked into another shop, this time a clothing based one. He quickly grabbed a number of tiny, not to mention adorable, outfits for Hiei, a large (*large*) number of extremely flammable diapers (for quick disposal!), and other baby supplise he should have bought months ago. Tossing a couple counterfeit coins at the girl in charge and smiling winningly at her so she wouldn't notice, Kurama waltzed out of the store without paying anything worth more then well shaped wood.  
  
He was a plant manipulator, after all.  
  
Quickly storing the clothes, diapers and general baby related things in his personal space, he made his way to the rowdier part of town. He had to meet with an ice demon about an ice plant.  
  
That Kurama secretly bet didn't exist anymore. Stupid ice.  
  
  
  
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Kurama: ...the... *clowns*!  
  
Hiei: they're scary alright?!  
  
Kurama: ...  
  
  
  
Review! 


	4. Hiei Vs Girls: Round 1 ding

Don't own it!  
  
AN Thanks for sticking with me this far! I love you all! Cookies for everyone who reviewed! *throws cookies* WHEE! Anyway, here's the next part for you.   
  
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Chapter 4  
  
Hiei Vs. Girls: Round 1 *ding*  
  
"What do you mean three thousand?" Kurama shouted, banging one fist down onto the dirty table top. "It's just a stupid seed!" He could feel the energy of the seed sitting just three feet away from him yet couldn't do anything to get it, the ice demon had mentally placed wards up around him.  
  
Stupid wards.  
  
Hiei imitated the Youko's movements exactly, although the table was charred were his fist landed, rather then dented. "HN!"  
  
Heads all around the bar turned to stare at both the kitsune and the fire demon, not sure whether to be amused or terrified. They settled for terrified and fled from the building. Hiei laughed cutely and slipped off of the bench, toddling around the room looking for something fun to do.  
  
The ice demon sitting across the booth frowned at Kurama. "Three thousand," he repeated stubbornly. "Because the plant killed my partners."  
  
"If you don't give me the seed, *MY* plants will kill you!" Kurama hissed, reaching into his hair for a seed.  
  
"Kill me and loose the seed." The demon said smugly. "I've heard about your plants, they eat everything in their path. Not even clothing comes out of their grasp."  
  
Kurama settled back in his chair, a contemplative look in his eyes. With a careless move he returned the Death Tree seed to his hair and pulled out another of a similar nature. "It's true, my Death Tree does eat everything I will it to." He suddenly smirked, knowing the tables had turned in his favor, "but my Death *Plant* merely eats away at the blood and grows inside the body. I'm sure it's more painful, but it will secure me the seed."  
  
The ice demon paled, his hand groping for a small pouch in his pocket. It wasn't there.  
  
"Kra'ma!" Hiei sang, holding up a small velvet sack. He made a sound that resembled a purr, rubbing the softness of it along his cheek.  
  
"Well, look what Hiei found," Kurama said softly, bending to remove the baby from the floor. The kitsune could feel the energy of the seed inside the pouch, smiling at the baby's unintentional cleverness. "Perhaps we should leave then, you look awfully sleepy." He turned and nodded at the demon, who was still searching for the velvet pouch.  
  
"You're lucky I have a new charge, or I most certainly would have killed you."  
  
The ice demon passed out from relief.  
  
Kurama then stood up and calmly walked out of the building and began the hour long trek back to his current den. After about twenty minutes, his arms began to fall asleep from the weight of the sleeping fire demon and he grew a few vines to act as a sling. Hiei settled into the sling easily and continued with his nap, one hand clenching Kurama's hair, the other still fisting the velvet pouch.  
  
"That is so *adorable*!" A squealing female voice shrilled from somewhere on the path behind him.  
  
"I know, I *love* a man who cares for his child like that!" Another high pitched feminine voice agreed, this time closer to him.  
  
Hiei stirred at the unusually high voices, squeezing his eyes tighter together as though hoping it were only a dream.  
  
"Yes, a family man is the best kind. Although, in this world you must take what you can get, all the nice demons get eaten." The first decided, from directly behind the kitsune. From both the volume of their voices, and the fact that they were all but attacking him and Hiei, Kurama knew they were waiting for him to turn around and say something.  
  
Stiffening his resolve, Kurama slowly turned around, making sure to put as much grace and power into the movement as possible. "Do you need something?" He asked lowly, the tone in his voice clearly stating that the two girls were better off far from him.  
  
"OH!" The first voice, belonging to the blond bimbo to the left squealed, directing her attention at the slumbering fire demon. "He's so cute! What's his name? Can I hold him? Are you his father?"  
  
The other girl, a dark haired moron, shrilled her voice as well, reaching out with arms that seemed to grow in order to snatch Hiei from Kurama's arms. She succeeded in her snatch, bringing Hiei to rest against her shoulder like a dead animal she was about to skin and eat.  
  
Hiei woke up with a scream, clawing at the girl with all his baby strength to be returned to the Youko's arms, but it wasn't enough to deter the feakishly determined female.  
  
"Isn't that just the sweetest thing!" The girl holding Hiei laughed, not noticing the bloody gashes left behind by small fingernails. "This one is definitely going to be a fighter!" She took a closer look. "Ohh! This is a Koorime birth gem!" She exclaimed, pulling out the little Heriseki stone that had fallen on Kurama's head months before. "No Koorime would willingly give this up! Where did you get it?!"  
  
"Kra'ma!" Hiei screamed, now fighting to get his gem back, "KRA'MA!!! WAHHHHHHH!" The three month old Youkai burst into tears, a few of them hardening into perfectly shaped gems. "Kra'ma..."  
  
And that was all it took for Kurama to act. "YOU FOOLS!" He snarled, snatching Hiei into his arms. "Scaring a defenseless child like that!" He bent to retrieve the black Heriseki stones from the ground before focusing his spirit energy to trap the girls in cocoon of icy cold weeds that spit ice chips into their victims.  
  
"There, there," he soothed, turning away and continuing on the path. Slowly, the silver kitsune wiped the remaining wetness left from the tears away.  
  
Hiei slowly quieted, his red eyes closing with exhaustion.  
  
"Go to sleep," Kurama encouraged. "That's it..."  
  
It was only then that he realized he had used his ice plant on the foolish girls. "OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!" He wailed, turning around. "That was the only seed I had!"  
  
STUPID ICE!  
  
  
  
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AN A few things before I let Hiei and Kurama take over for me. Somebody asked what a Koorime is, that's the type of demon that Yukina is (an ice apperitition). Somebody else mentioned something about Hiei growing up with bandits. I'll get to that in later chapters, I promise. *sniffle* There's going to be angst! WAHHH! Um, I think that's it. Take it away guys!   
  
Kurama: my seed!  
  
Hiei: your seed? WHAT ABOUT ME! This stupid fools wanted to eat me!  
  
Kurama: they just thought you were cute!  
  
Hiei: ... why?  
  
*crickets chirp*  
  
Hiei: KURAMA! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT! DON'T YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME!!! KURAMA!!!!!!!  
  
Review!  
  
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	5. Kina

NOT MINE!!!  
  
AN Hey, here's chapter 5. I personally don't think it's as funny as previous chapters, such as flaming clowns... *sighs* now that was funny. Anyway, just let me know what you think. And thanks for the burning ambition pun, whoever said that (too lazy to look it up). I might use that. ^.~  
  
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Chapter 5  
  
Kina  
  
A year later, the one year anniversary of the day Hiei fell on Kurama's tail, to be exact, the two were sitting in Kurama's den. The silver Youko was trying to get Hiei ready for a day in town, though the little fire demon wasn't enjoying any of it. Birthday, shmirthday. Hiei wanted to play!  
  
"Hm," Kurama pondered, carefully looking over his work. He might be a Youko of the highest class, but something seemed to be missing. "OH!" He exclaimed, snapping his fingers and reaching forward to grab Hiei before the little boy could run away. Again. But with Hiei's current stage in demon age mentality and maturity, it was either run outside and get stuck in a tree, or strip himself completely naked and *then* run outside and get stuck in a tree. And Kurama didn't exactly fancy pulling splinters out of the fire demons toosh. Again. However, after screaming himself hoarse, Hiei would usually fall out of the tree and into an exhausted sleep, which would leave the den very peaceful during the night.  
  
"Your sword!"  
  
Resting Hiei on one knee and anchoring him down by wrapping one arm around him, Kurama reached with his free hand into his personal space. A few moments later, he pulled out the sword and smiled. Hiei's eyes widened happily at the sight of the weapon he had stolen a year ago and he reached out with his little hands to take a hold of it.  
  
"Mine!"  
  
Kurama chuckled. "Just a minute Hiei." He searched through his personal space again and pulled out a little belt, and a matching sheath. He carefully placed the sword in the sheath, attached the sheath to the belt and tied the belt around the fire demon's waist. Frowning when he had to wrap it around four times in order for the cheap scrap of cow-hide to properly function as a belt. He would have to start feeding Hiei more, walking around with four belts was just odd.  
  
"MINE!" Hiei shouted gleefully, standing up and happily flitting around the room.  
  
"Go stand over there and let me see." Kurama instructed the black blur currently jumping on a small Hiei sized bed.  
  
The blur disappeared as it moved, reforming to show a little boy with spiky black hair. A little boy who was completely decked out in hand-made, well plant-made really, clothing. Cute poofy black pants, a black shirt with writing that read in white text "Hn" and an adorable black cloak. A white silk scarf Kurama had stolen years ago around his neck and little baby control wards on his hands, stolen when Hiei's fires began to get out of control, completed the outfit. In short, Hiei looked as though he could take on half of the Makai if he wasn't glomped to death for being too cute first.  
  
"Play time!" Hiei demanded, removing himself from the corner and jumping playfully in and out of the Youko's reach.  
  
"Later," Kurama said firmly, skillfully catching the little demon and lifting him into his arms. "We have places to go, people to terrorize and possessions to steal." He paused to think. "And we're going to celebrate your birthday, of course."  
  
Hiei didn't look too cheered at that. "PLAY TIME!" He shouted, beginning to squirm in order to get out of Kurama's arms. When that didn't work, he brought out his not-so-secret weapon.  
  
Crying. But it wasn't really crying, it was just the high-pitched wailing, the incredibally pathetic expression, and the glimmer of sadness in his eyes. However, Kurama had managed to built up a resistance to that look over the last year and simply began walking out of the den and into the sunlight.  
  
Hiei quickly gave up, his voice still sore from being stuck in a tree the night before, and decided to pout instead.  
  
"How about we play 'races'?" Kurama suggested finally, as they reached the main road, the town they were heading to in plain sight. "The first one to town wins, is that okay? No blurring!"  
  
Hiei brightened immediately. "Kay!" He managed to wiggle out of the Youko's grasp before starting to run down the road. He followed the Youko's orders and didn't move fast enough to blur, but he still ran faster then most one-year-old's should be able. Kurama took a moment to change into his full fledged fox form before taking off after him.  
  
Using one of his five tails to tickle Hiei's backside, Kurama ran along side the baby. Hiei giggled at the sensation and launched himself into the air, landing on the foxes back. Little by little, Kurama's speed began to slow, until he reached the town at a dead-mans pace, panting horribly.  
  
"Yay!" Hiei giggled, jumping off of the foxes back and hopping up and down happily.  
  
Trembling legs collapsed before Kurama heaved himself into his humanoid form, his ears and tail drooping noticeably. To make matters, not to mention his on coming back problems, worse, Hiei decided he wanted a shoulder ride and leapt up without any warning. Heaving a classic 'why me?' Kurama began trudging down the noticeably empty street.  
  
It was empty because at the first site of Kurama and Hiei, all demons alike ran for cover. They had learned months ago, after the destruction of the west half of the town, that Hiei was a demon to be feared. And when being raised by the 'ruthless' Youko Kurama, they should run *far* *far* away.  
  
"Giddy-up!" Hiei demanded, tugging on the silver hair in front of him.  
  
Kurama groaned and began walking towards the nearest toy store. It wasn't as though Hiei really needed any more toys, truth be told he had four out of five tree houses full of them, but it *was* Hiei's birthday. And hey, he wanted to spoil the brat for once.  
  
"Pick only *one* thing," he instructed the child, setting him down once they had entered the store.  
  
Hiei immediately ran off and came back lugging about twenty toys behind him. Most of the toys were wooden, as such they would be ash within two minutes of playing time. One toy was a pretty girls doll. Hiei had also picked up a bouncy ball and a bag of marbles that he would probably lose. But it seemed as though the doll was the most important thing, as he was cradling it gently in his arms.  
  
"Kina?" Hiei asked, holding out the doll to Kurama.  
  
The Youko didn't have a clue as to what Hiei wanted. "What's Kina?" He asked instead, squatting down to be as close to eyes level as possible.  
  
"Kina!" Hiei answered as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "For Kina, pweese?"  
  
Well, it was obvious Hiei didn't want the doll for himself. It seemed as though he wanted to give it to, most likely, a girl named Kina. But how did he meet somebody? The two had been traveling for months, only returning to Kurama's den a week ago. Besides, Hiei hated strangers. Suddenly, it hit him.  
  
"OW! Hiei, don't throw your toys at me!"  
  
"KINA!"  
  
Koorime always gave birth to twins. Kurama had assumed that because Hiei was a male he was ruled out the twin factor as it hadn't been an asexual reproduction. But he was obviously wrong, Kina must be Hiei's sister.  
  
Golden eyes softened. "Alright, we'll get the doll for Kina."  
  
The half-koorime smiled and hugged the doll a little closer. Kurama looked around for the shop-keeper. Seeing no one he shrugged and stuffed Hiei's gifts into his personal space. All except the doll, which Hiei wouldn't let go of.  
  
"Let's go find something to eat," Kurama suggested, taking one of Hiei's little hands and slowly walking towards the door. Placing his hand on the knob, a voice hailed them from behind.  
  
"HEY! You have to pay for the damage to my shop!"  
  
"A little fire never hurt anybody!" Kurama said shortly, bending to pull Hiei and the doll into his arms, ignoring that half the shop was on fire. "Be thankful Hiei found something he liked or else there would be nothing left!"  
  
And with that, he jauntily left the shop. A moment or so later, the two arrived at a cozy looking restaurant and were immediately seated in a back corner booth.  
  
A pretty waitress appeared next to their table, handing Kurama a menu, and Hiei some crayons and paper. "He is so adorable," the girl gushed smiling winningly at Hiei.  
  
"WAHHH!!!"  
  
"He doesn't like strangers," Kurama said dryly, reaching over to place the little demon in his lap.  
  
"How old is he?" The girl then asked, batting her blue eye-lashes at Kurama.  
  
The fox spirit blinked, he didn't think blue eye-lashes were normal... "Erm, a year old." He answered hastily.  
  
"I heard that baby's are awfully cute at that age. Just learning how to walk and talk, their teeth just growing in and finally getting out of diapers..."  
  
Kurama widened his eyes. "You mean if I had a normal kid, he wouldn't have been talking until now? Hiei's been talking since three months old! Walking since two weeks! And he bites really hard."  
  
"Well," the girl said flustered, looking down at the baby now happily melting the crayons into bubbling puddles of wax. "Perhaps Hiei here is just special... Would you like something to drink?" She added, obviously wanting to get away.  
  
"Moo!" Hiei chirped.  
  
"Water is fine for me."  
  
The girl nodded and quickly walked away.  
  
"Kra'ma?" Hiei suddenly asked timidly, poking at the cooling wax with one finger.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"For Kina?"  
  
"Yes, I'll send the doll to Kina when we get home, alright?" Kurama smiled down at the little demon.  
  
When the girl appeared again with a glass of water and a tippy-cup of milk, Kurama took them both to sniff for poisons. Sometimes he couldn't believe the number of murder attempts sent at him and Hiei daily. Detecting nothing he grabbed a small complementary packet of sugar and dumped it into Hiei's milk.  
  
"Happy birthday, Hiei," he said, handing the baby the now sweetened drink.  
  
"Hn!"  
  
===========================================  
  
Kurama: gee, you even obsessed over your sister when you were one year old. *sighs* what a brat.  
  
Hiei: *grumbles* I still have a sword that can slice you in half you know.  
  
Kurama: you wouldn't.  
  
REVIEW!!!  
  
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	6. Mama

AN So, I really think I've forgotten how to write humerous fiction. Everything I've written lately is so depressing. Maybe that's just because school is starting soon and I'm depressed about that... *shruggs* Anyway, sorry if it's not humerous... and that there's no plot as of yet... and that I've got to go to that torture chamber called school... Private school, it's a pain in my @$$.  
  
Be sure to check out my new fic "Her Misfit" I've been told it's good, let me know what you think.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Mama  
  
There are two things that fire demons hate by nature. Such things are so evil, so cruel that they are avoided at all costs. Threatening such a demon with these things could result in an almost certain death. A bloody massacre that ironically would result in only one death. And, it probably wouldn't be very bloody, considering fire demons.  
  
Ice was the first thing. Anything cold was evil, as Kurama learned at an early stage of raising Hiei. However, Hiei was half ice demon, though the powers from those genetics didn't show.  
  
The second thing, much more evil then ice, was bath-time.  
  
"Hiei! You get down here right now!" Kurama shouted, looking up into the Pine tree Hiei had hidden himself in after they had finished a short training session. The sessions helped Hiei strengthen and control his powers, and his sword handling techniques. Unfortunately they also got the little demon extremely dirty and rather sweaty.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"If you don't get down here I'm taking away your blankie!" Kurama threatened, willing the tree-branches to part so he could see the yellow-clad child.  
  
"NO!" Hiei scampered onto a different branch.  
  
"*And* Mr. Fuzzy-tail!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"And you're not going to be allowed to train with your sword anymore!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
Kurama sighed, running out of threats. Why did he have to be the one with the insane child from hell? Why not some demon who could actually handle him?  
  
"Fine," he called, "I'm just going to go and bathe by myself. And I'm not sharing any bubbles!"  
  
"MAMA! WAIT!!!" There were some shuffling sounds as Hiei slowly started climbing down from the tree. The little boy fell the last few feet, landing on his rear with a little cry of pain.  
  
'Mama' was Kurama's new name according to Hiei. The little demon had seen a few demons his age clinging madly to a tall long-haired person screaming the word "mama" along with phrases like "I want candy" and "up! up!" Thus, Kurama had first become "Kur-mama" and a day later, it was just Mama. Not only that, but Hiei had developed an extremely sweet tooth with just one piece of candy, stolen from one of the whinny brats.  
  
"No," Kurama said, continuing to walk away from the tree. A moment or so later, a small hand fisted itself in his tail and a sniffily voice whimpered.  
  
"Mama..." Hiei whispered, trying to keep pace with Kurama's long strides. "Wait fer me!" The baby quickly gave up, strengthened his hold on Kurama's tail and sat down to be dragged.  
  
Wincing, Kurama chanced a glance behind him, seeing that the tears streaking down Hiei's face were genuine and turned around to pick up the little demon. Hiei did his best to stop crying, fisting his hands into the Youko's hair and burying his face in his neck. "Did you pick up all your tears like I told you to?" Kurama asked.  
  
Making a tiny agreeing sound, Hiei wiped his face and held out his tiny, fisted hand. Resting on his palm were about a dozen black Koorime tear-gems.  
  
"Good boy!" Kurama said, pleased. "You always want to pick those up or else somebody will steal them from you." Like a certain Youko... "Do you remember where to put them?"  
  
Hiei nodded again and scrunched his face in concentration. It was so cute, Kurama couldn't help but giggle. A moment later a little black velvet bag appeared in one hand while the other worked the place all the gems inside. Incidentally it was the same pouch Hiei had stolen from a certain Ice-demon and had held a stupid icy seed. Scrunching his face again, Hiei willed the pouch to disappear as Kurama had taught him to.  
  
Pleased, Kurama bounced the little baby and began walking towards the creek that flowed nearby. Hiei responded by hiding his face in Kurama's gauzy white tunic and shivering.  
  
Bath-time was indeed evil. Such a time when somebody massaged your scalp, rubbed your skin until it felt like mush and took the time to play with you was not welcome in most demons lives. Hiei only put up with it because if he didn't, his Mama would take away his stuffed bunny, Mr. Fuzzy-tail. So, sitting in the creek and sulking as Kurama took care in not getting soap into his eyes, Hiei let the silver Youko do as he wished.  
  
"Baby, stop fidgeting!"  
  
"NO! NO!"  
  
By the time Kurama was ready to utter the words, "All done!" Hiei had already jumped out of the water and raised his body temperature to dry himself. Yawning cutely, Hiei lifted his arms into the air, silently demanding to be carried back to the den.  
  
Kurama shook himself as dry as he could, not being his own personal dryer, and hoisted the sleepy little demon into his arms. The sun was just setting behind them and Kurama was pleased. Today was the first day Hiei had managed to stay awake without the help of a mid-day nap. Instead, they had done a little 'work' in one of the fruit orchards of Youko's property. And had eaten quite a bit of said fruit, spent time playing in their little 'training session' and now had a bath. With a bottle of sweet nectar, Hiei would be set to go to bed.  
  
Walking briskly, Kurama cradled Hiei and carefully scanned the surrounding area for possible threats. Seeing none the Youko headed directly to his den. Pushing aside the vines hiding the entrance, Kurama sent a trickle of his energy though the glow-plants growing along the walls, immediately illuminating the cave with a warm light.  
  
He walked into one of the adjoining caves near the back and swiftly prepared a bottle of the nectar Hiei would be eating for dinner. Placing the bottle on Hiei's tummy to warm, Kurama walked into the bedroom section of the den and sat them down on his own bed. A magnificent creation considering it was a cave. A four poster made of still living branches and vines, giant silk leaves, blankets, pillows and flower petals.  
  
"Hiei," Kurama said softly, removing the bottle before it started to boil. "Wake up."  
  
Hiei ignored the request in favor of burrowing deeper into Kurama's arms. He muttered something along the lines of "my mama..." and "Kina," but otherwise remained silent.  
  
"Hiei!" Kurama gasped out, "Mr. Fuzzy-tail is gone!"  
  
Hiei woke up with a scream, jumping from Kurama's arms and dashing towards his bed. Not realizing he had been had, Hiei picked up the scruffy brown bunny and cuddled it to his chest. "Liar!" He cried on the verge of tears. "Mama you lied!"  
  
Kurama chuckled, "I guess I just didn't see him there..." He shook his head and walked towards Hiei's bed, handing over the bottle. "Get ready for bed baby, you've had a long day. And remember to eat all of your dinner this time."  
  
Hiei attempted a death-glare, but he was so cute and sleepy - standing in a yellow jump-suit and clutching a scruffy stuffed animal in one hand and a bottle with dancing, fat Youkai's in the other, yawning every few seconds - that it had little effect on the Youko.  
  
"I'll tell you a story when you're in bed," Kurama pressed, "a story about Princess Kina."  
  
The half-Koorime instantly brightened and tossed his pillow aside to reveal his cute green and blue checked footie pajamas. It took a moment for the child to struggle his way out of the clothing he was already wearing by himself, and a few minutes more for him to wiggle into his pajamas. In fact, the little boy got so frustrated with the buttons he threw himself down on the floor and pouted until Kurama came to help.  
  
"Mama," Hiei said, removing the bottle from his mouth for a moment in favor of bossing around his Mama. "Story time!"  
  
Kurama nodded and sat down next to the little nest of giant silk leaves, flower petals and pillows Hiei used as a bed. Tucking his baby underneath the warm blanket and taking a moment to fluff the pillow, the silver haired 'mama' made sure Hiei was comfortable. Hiei made a grabbing motion for his bunny, which Kurama handed over swiftly.  
  
"Now," he began, watching with a loving smile as the fire demon curled around the toy. "When Princess Kina was very small she had the best protector in the whole of the three worlds..."  
  
  
  
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Kurama: ...  
  
Hiei: ... I think you're losing your touch  
  
Kurama: Kur-mama? Where did that come from?  
  
Hiei: *shudders*  
  
  
  
  
  
Next time! Exploding furit and vegetables!  
  
  
  
REVIEW!!!   
  
  
  
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	7. When Tomatoes Explode

AN Right now, I have a huge headach and my sister is sharing information I don't want to hear. So, I'm hopeing that this chapter meets your humerous needs. Please don't hurt me if it doesn't. Enjoy, I'm going to bed.  
  
Be sure to check out my new fic "Her Misfit" I've been told it's good, let me know what you think.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 7  
  
When Tomatoes Explode  
  
Hiei woke from his nightmare with a scream. "PEANUT!"  
  
With a sob, the little fire demon hunched himself over his knees, shaking with sorrow and continuously moaning "peanut" in his dream induced sadness.  
  
Kurama sluggishly pulled himself from his comfortable bed and stumbled his way across the two feet of open space between their beds. Tripping over some unseen and non-existing obstacle, Kurama hit the floor of the cave with an "oomph!" and a cheerful array of words not printable here.  
  
"What happened this time?" He asked in the comforting, half asleep and pain filled way he had been using for the past week. Hiei's dreams about the dying giant peanut mystified him, he wasn't even sure Hiei knew what a peanut was. Heck, from what he had gathered, the peanut had a tail that kept getting bitten off by a Ningen, ears that bled rose petals and a bright red shell.  
  
Lifting his face to look at his Mama, Hiei hiccoughed and started crying anew.  
  
"The mean Youkai *sniffle* shot it with a *whimper* bright stick," the baby brokenly explained. "Mr. Peanut didn't even have a chance!" Hiei whimpered and moaned out one more time: "P-pea...nut..."  
  
Kurama sighed and perched himself on the edge of Hiei's nest. He patiently untangled his baby from the silk blanket, muttering obscenities under his breath. Then he calmly plucked the stuffed bunny, its floppy ears hanging on for dear life, from the cave floor. Placing the newly wrapped and blue-faced Hiei and Mr. Fuzzy-Tail in his lap, he proceeded to rock gently.  
  
"Ow, ow, ow," Hiei gasped, trying to bring air into his small, jolting frame. Who knew that blankets could be used for torture? Maybe Mama was trying to scare the dream away...  
  
After Hiei had been successfully calmed (read: lost consciousness), Kurama decided going back to sleep at that point would be more of a nuisance then a help. So, with a brat-pack on his back he left the cave to watch as the sun's first rays snuck over the distant hills. With a stretch and a yawn the Youko made his way towards his fruit orchards.  
  
Just the day before, a few strange seeds had blown into his territory and he was eager to know what they contained. Adjusting Hiei's unconscious form - cocooned in vines on his back - and patting the seeds kept safely in his hair the Youko quickened his pace with an anticipatory smile.  
  
Finally he arrived and pulled one of the mystery seeds from his hair.  
  
Flicking the seed into the dewy earth, the plant controlling Spirit Fox sent his energy forth for the seed to bloom. He then watched gleefully as it sprouted. A frown appeared a moment later however, when no fruit bearing tree, or deadly plant emerged. Instead it was a tangle of limp vines and dull leaves. Seconds later many green, yellowish and red round *things* appeared, obviously the fruit of the plant.  
  
"I suppose I could use it as some sort of strangler," Kurama mused, bending down to pull one of the squishy red things from the mess of green in the dirt.  
  
A squirm on his back indicated Hiei had once again awoken. The little fire starting demon quickly burned away the vines that trapped him in the air and darted around to see the new plant.  
  
"What's that, Mama?" Hiei asked, poking at the plant with a long stick. When nothing happened to him the baby moved closer and plucked one of the green fruits. He sniffed it carefully, as he had been taught, and carefully took a tiny nibble. Tasting nothing wrong, he took a much larger bite.  
  
"EWWIE!" Hiei spat out the apparently foul tasting food and proceeded to set the entire plant on fire. The baby scrunched up his face in distaste, rubbing at his tongue with his shirt sleeve, trying to get rid of the taste.  
  
He was, however, fast enough to get away from the plants next move.  
  
"POP! POP! POP! POP! MAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAA!! POPOPOPOPOP!"  
  
This is the sound of mysterious water based fruits exploding due to over exposure to heat, and of Hiei shrieking in terror. Let's take a recap, shall we?  
  
After Hiei had set the plant on fire, approximately ten point three-eight-six seconds later an explosion of hot, sticky and foul smelling fruit made its way onto Kurama's previously white tunic. Hiei however, screaming like only he could, managed to avoid the blast by running as fast as he could (read: magically disappearing) to hide behind Kurama's knees.  
  
Thus, the popping, and the screaming are explained.  
  
A small spiked head peeked out from behind the Youko's knees, red eyes wider then normal due to fear and amazement.  
  
"Wow..."  
  
And thus, Hiei discovered that when certain things are introduced to heat, they explode in a big sticky mess.  
  
Ten minutes later, Kurama was willing to bet that steam was billowing out of, not only his ears, but also his nose, mouth, and eye-sockets. The reason for this anger was very simple.  
  
SPLAT!  
  
Giggle, giggle.  
  
POP!  
  
Giggle, giggle.  
  
FOOOOM!  
  
Giggle, gig- "uh?" SPLAT "WAHHH!"  
  
It was Hiei. Playing fire bomber. With Kurama's new plants. Luckily, the Youko had found a use for the one red fruit he had managed to save from the first plant to meet its fiery doom.  
  
Throwing food at Hiei turned out to be an unbelievably satisfying relaxant.  
  
"WAHHH!"  
  
Whistling cheerfully, Kurama grabbed Hiei's sticky hand and proceeded to drag the crying/sulking/flaming child to the infamous stream of doom for yet another bath.  
  
"No! Mama, I wanna PLAY!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kurama: WOOHOO! I got to throw something at Hiei.  
  
Hiei: *growls*  
  
Kurama: Serves you right for destroying my plants!  
  
Hiei: ^__^ But it was fun!  
  
Kurama: *growls*  
  
  
  
  
  
Next time! Where did all these Yoko's come from?  
  
  
  
REVIEW!!!   
  
  
  
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	8. Kitsune Tails

Not only do I not own YYH, I *can't* own YYH. Something about restraining orders...  
  
AN Alright, you caught me. The beginning of last chapter was inspired in part of Demon Diary. But it did have some meaning to it, can you find it? *is suddenly reminded of stupid Trix train robbery commertial "can *you*?" @.@ Anyway, this probably isn't very funny, but my headach just returned for round eighty seven, and I'm verrrrry tired. School will do that to you, deprive you of sleep. Anyway, I'll try to make next chapter twice as funny... or as funny as I can. I'll also try to post faster.  
  
Sorry for the delays. BTW, Hiei is now two years old.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Kitsune Tails  
  
Between the nightmares of peanuts, running from strangers and pulling hair - Hiei spent his first two or so years of life in a relatively sheltered home. He had an unwilling parental figure (read: an overprotective Youko who wouldn't let him out of his sight) and enough food to make him permanently round.  
  
In fact, the only real reason that the fire demon wasn't already fat was because he and his Mama were constantly traveling. West side of the Makai, east side, to the south... you name it, they've been there.  
  
"Mama, mama! Look!"  
  
Hiei bounced around the silver, five tailed fox - chasing a large butterfly. He finally caught the insect and stared wide-eyed as its wings fluttered in his hand, trying to escape.  
  
Quickly loosing interest, Hiei set the wings on fire and watched curiously as the insect shuddered and fell limply to the ground.  
  
Nudging the infant with his paw, Kurama urged him forwards. His goal was originally to reach the distant forests before nightfall. Now it was to move out of eyesight of their den. By noon, the goal had failed.  
  
Returning to his humanoid form, Kurama scooped up Hiei and began walking in a quick march. This particular journey actually had an importance to him that didn't involve plant seeds. It would be the first time since he had left his Youko clan, nearly a hundred years ago, that he would see his family. The whole clan of Youko's were to arrive at a sort of convention in not to many more days.  
  
At first, Kurama had been slightly unsure about bringing Hiei along with him. But after said demon had attached himself quite firmly to the silver foxes tail and refused to let go, he relented. And there they were, once again traveling across the Makai for the Youko's land.  
  
While walking they passed many flowers...  
  
"Oh! It's so pretty! BURN!"  
  
...that were flammable. And many Youkai...  
  
"Stupid mean demon! BURN!"  
  
...that were also strangely flammable. In fact, the only things that seemed to pass Hiei's non-flaming test were Kurama and Hiei himself. Thus explains the burned path across the Makai.  
  
"Okay baby, we're going to rest here tonight," Kurama decided. He carefully examined the lone tree in the large empty space. He decided it was satisfactory and boosted Hiei onto a sturdy looking branch. The fire demon yawned cutely and waited patiently while Kurama scrambled up next to him.  
  
At times like this, raising a fire demon had its plus side. Instant fire when ever and where ever needed (this provided hot meals and water for bathing) warmth at night (when cradling the demon in his arms during the night) and a very good watch-demon. Hiei was a very light sleeper, a squirrel sneezing a mile away would alert the fire demon. However, very early in the morning something alerted Hiei that didn't cause him to be wary or afraid.  
  
With a little squirm, the demon freed himself from Kurama's death-grasp and carefully clambered down the tree towards the ground. Actually, after getting out of his Mama's grasp, Hiei made a grab for his bunny and lost his balance, falling out of the tree and right on top of a small, fluffy black thing.  
  
Hiei's small cushion whimpered quietly at first before bursting into ear-shattering sobs. Hiei managed to gather his bearings and crawled off the fluffy thing towards one side. Thus, he revealed a very young Youko kit. The kit, though it was Hiei's age didn't have any Youki yet, not having developed it to the point of use. Ever the curious one, the fire demon stared intently and quickly darted around to see the kit's tail, and give it a tiny tug/pet.  
  
"Hi!" Hiei chirped, crawling a little more so that he was facing the kit. "I'm Hiei, who're you? Are you going to the Youko ven-sen? Me and Mama are, it's going to be fun! Mama says that I'm going to meet lots of Youko's, and that they're all really nice..." he continued babbling on, probably in the longest arrangement of words in his whole short life.  
  
Funny thing was, Hiei was usually terrified of strangers young or old. But this kit smelled comforting like pine trees, and that was the smell he associated with Kurama. Kurama was safe, so this kit was safe.  
  
The kit sniffled, a little unsure about the strange Youkai that fell from the sky and pulled tails. "I'm Kuno." He said finally.  
  
Hiei smiled, showing off his sharp teeth. "See my bunny?" He asked, holding up the much more scruffy looking Mr. Fuzzy-Tail. "Mama gave him to be when I was little."  
  
Kuno giggled. "You're still little!"  
  
Just that moment, however, another Youko appeared. Sharp eyes saw Hiei first, wielding a bunny, and then Kuno with a tear streaked face. The Youko started towards Hiei with an angry scowl on his face. Hiei 'eeped' and jumped back into the tree to cuddle with his Mama.  
  
"Youko Kurama," the new Youko snarled. "I should have known!"  
  
Now, normally there was nothing wrong with adopting a demon found in the wilds, but stories had been told about Kurama and his fire demon. For example, how Hiei enjoyed setting things on fire, and how skilled the baby was with a sword at age one. And, the tiny little detail that Hiei had somehow managed to pull the new Youko's tail before disappearing didn't help.  
  
Kurama groaned out a strange slurring noise and rolled over on his branch. Unfortunately for both him, Hiei and the two other Youko's, he lost his balance and fell with a thump.  
  
"Get off!"  
  
"WAHHH!!"  
  
"WAHHH!!"  
  
Kurama blinked, not quite sure what had just happened. He scrunched up his brow, thinking. One, sudden introduction of heat. Two, a voice that was very unpleasant on the ears. Three, falling. Four, two crying baby's and a very annoyed unpleasant voice.  
  
Wait a minute! TWO BABIES?!  
  
With a whimper, Kurama opened his eyes to see both Hiei and the black Youko kit crying. "Not another one!" He whined, "I have enough to deal with!"  
  
With a start, he realized that he was sitting on yet another Youko and quickly jumped clear.  
  
Youko Juu and his son Kuno. Insert big sigh of relief.  
  
However, Hiei was still crying from his recent fall, this time without a cushion to land on. Kurama quickly picked him up and cuddled until the fire demon decided pretending to cry was too babyish, even if Kuno was still crying.  
  
"Mama," Hiei stated, clutching his bunny tightly, so as the new Youko wouldn't get any ideas such as thieving it. "I'm hungry."  
  
Kuno whimpered to his father about the same thing.  
  
Kurama nodded and began walking with Hiei in his arms. They hadn't made camp the night before, so there was nothing to clean up. After a few minutes of walking, Kurama reached into his personal space and retrieved a few of the fruits Hiei loved so much. He handed them over and decided his own meal could wait.  
  
"Hiei-chan!"  
  
Hiei stiffened and attempted to look over his Mama's shoulder.  
  
"Wait for us! Daddy says we can walk with you!"  
  
Kurama groaned, this was going to be a long journey.  
  
  
  
==========================   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hiei: how exactly was that funny?  
  
Kurama: ...  
  
Hiei: ...  
  
  
  
  
  
Next time! Why in the world are there imps at a Yoko convention? BABYSITTING?!  
  
Please review *pathetic expression*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	9. The Vicious Demon Eating Imps

Disclaimer: If Yu Yu Hakusho belonged to me, do you think I would be wasting my precious time writing fanfictions? No, I'd be wallowing in the lap of luxury and laughing as people try to figure out if Kurama and Hiei are really a couple.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN Okay, I just want to let you all know what I'm trying to do with this story. I'm trying to say how certain aspects of Hiei's life came into play. For example, the four belts, his love of the sword, the word "hn", fear of clowns, why he trusts Kurama, the imps, black clothes and such. In my mind (after the angst part of the story is over with) it will also be another reason for the Jagan, him going to the Ningen world and such. Tell me if you can find anything else, ne? It's like a scavanger hunt! Cookies for all! BTW... I read that Hiei was an A class demon at age five... is that true?  
  
  
  
Also, if I revieve 150 reviews before chapter 10 is posted, I will write a side story for this fic titled "When Imps Rebel". Just so you you know.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 9  
  
The Vicious Demon-Eating Imps  
  
If anybody had ever told Kurama that he, the loner Youko who had shunned and been shunned by his own family, would be raising a fire demon - and actually enjoying it, no less - he would have feed the moron to a plant. One that was not carnivorous. But now, after nearly two years of raising Hiei, he decided that the kid wasn't so bad. It was only the first few minutes of stepping into the Youko's territory that made him decide that.  
  
After all, he knew personally just how much of a handful that a young Youko kit could be. He had been one of the worst. Compared to him, Hiei could be considered an angel.  
  
"Youko Kurama," one of many Youko's who had flocked to him gushed. "That little demon of yours is absolutely adorable! Where on earth did you find him? The Dragon realms of the north? Or perhaps that fire pits just to the east?"  
  
Kurama smiled somewhat weakly. Try the stupid ice world, he internally screamed. However, as Hiei was a fire demon it would be a little odd to hear he had been found in the ice world, as far south as possible as it was to go. He glanced around himself a little nervously, clutching Hiei a little tighter, as though he were about to be stolen.  
  
Which he was.  
  
Of course, Youko's weren't thieves by nature, that was just Kurama. Most Youko's lived very quiet and sheltered lives, being a very family based species. A Youko mated for life and spent as much time possible with his or her family. Youko Kurama had quickly left that life style, being ambitious and therefore looked down upon by his kit-mates and elders. He had only been about twenty at that time. Two hundred years later, he found Hiei and learned the meaning of family.  
  
...Sort of.  
  
"I've heard about your child," an elder Youko said slowly, obviously not as sharp in the mind as any of the others around him. "He seems to have a reputation for a burning ambition to be the strongest Youkai ever."  
  
Everyone winced at the horrible pun.  
  
Hiei himself burst out wailing at it. Then, two seconds later, obviously having decided that being admired was boring, he wiggled free of his Mama's death-grip and toddled happily away.  
  
Or, he tried to. Unfortunately for him he didn't take more then two very small steps before he was scooped up in a Hiei-crushing hug.  
  
"Aren't you the most adorable thing in the world!" A female voice tried to coo but came out more as a predatory type of shriek. Almost like fingers on a chalkboard and a screaming microphone mixed into one sound.  
  
"MAAAMAAA!" The hug victim screeched.  
  
One might be surprised at the effect of that particular screech. It's volume alone was enough to make any demon cringe and run away. But the pitch was more enough then what is needed to permanently deafen anyone within hearing range. Sadly enough, all Youko's have extra sensitive hearing. Only Kurama was able to resist its deadly call, for he was used to its sound.  
  
Hiei hit the ground and once again attempted his escape, this time his path being clear, while all the kitsune's doubled over and held their ears in pain. A few howled. Others ran in useless circles and ended up running into each other and falling over. Kurama grabbed his baby and began walking past the gate of the Youko territory. Moments later they appeared in another clearing, this time filled with small fluffy kits and a pack of annoyed looking imps.  
  
"Sign in your brat (the word "brat" had been crossed out and "kit" replaced it) here" a sign read in large messy letters. Kurama smartly and quickly decided that this must be some sort of day-care center. He plainly ignored the sign clearly stating "This is a day-care center" and marched to sign Hiei in.  
  
"You must return in three hours. Any brat not claimed will be eaten." The imp at the sign intoned to the silver kitsune. He sounded as though he had said this a dozen times over and wasn't too pleased with the reaction it caused.  
  
Kurama snorted and rolled his eyes. This was clearly the reaction the imp figured he would get.  
  
"We really will eat him!" The imp wailed, slamming down one fist on the sign-in book with a wimpy sounding 'ppft'. "We're very barbaric creatures! REALLY!"  
  
Hiei peeped at him with curious looking red eyes and then moved those same eyes to look at another imp singing, in a very horrible scratchy voice, a very young kit to sleep. Another imp was chasing a little kit who had apparently stolen a carrot. Yet another was jumping up and falling back down to try and retrieve yet another kit from a tree. Even Hiei looked skeptical at this point. Kurama shook his head, twitched his ears in suppressed humor and knelt down, placing Hiei on the ground.  
  
"Play nicely with all the other kits alright?" He asked, calmly unlocking Hiei's arms from his hair. He gave the little fire demons nose a gentle poke and smiled reassuringly. "And make sure not to burn any of the kits by accident. Trees are fine, but nothing else, got it?"  
  
Hiei sighed and glanced around the dull looking day-care center. "Burn the imps?" He asked hopefully.  
  
"Alright," Kurama allowed, "but not all of them."  
  
"But Mama..."  
  
Kurama gave him a stern glare. Hiei succumbed and walked slowly away to join the kit who was stealing vegetables. Kurama then turned and glared at the still protesting imp ("I swear we'll eat him! We'll eat him raw and whole!") before flipping his hair arrogantly and walking towards his first of many meetings. The meetings were mainly gossip about who had mated with who, and what the moron king Yama was up to. Someone mentioned that his kid, Kenny (or something like that, maybe it started with 'L'. Lenny maybe?) had recently turned five hundred.  
  
Back in the 'day-care', Hiei was having fun chasing around some of the faster imps. The other's had all either been burned to a critical state or had fallen on the ground to play dead.  
  
"Don't. Hurt. Us!" The imps gasped, some of them jumping into trees and thus avoiding the burning sticks thrown at them. Other's weren't so lucky and fell to the ground, burning. "Please *gasp* Hiei-sama *wheeze* We'll do *pant* anything!"  
  
Hiei's eyes became thoughtful. He stopped running and throwing flaming blunt objects, still considering. First he weighed the pro's and the cons, like his Mama had taught him. It was something like this.  
  
/Imps ugly, scary and mean!/  
  
/Free candy!/  
  
/Mama might be scared!/  
  
/CANDY!/  
  
Finally, Hiei seemed to come to a decision.  
  
"You!" He demanded one imp in his childishly authoritative voice, pointing a chubby finger at one of the imps playing dead. "Get us candy!" And by "us" he meant himself and the napping kits.  
  
The imp nodded frantically and disappeared as fast as it could, whispering a quick: "Yes, Hiei-sama!"  
  
"You!" Hiei pointed at another. "Go find Mama!"  
  
"Yes, Hiei-sama!"  
  
"Protect 'Kina!"  
  
"Right away, Hiei-sama!"  
  
"Do my bidding forever!" Hiei cried gleefully at the remaining imps.  
  
They all bowed fearfully at Hiei's feet, pleading for their lives and vowing their ever lasting loyalty to him. Hiei himself was cackling rather evilly (read: giggling incessantly). After a moment, two of the imps returned, one nearly buried under a mountain of candy. The other looked terrified, shooting looks to its comrades kneeling at an infants feet, and then and the still smoldering ones laying randomly in the grass.  
  
"W-what's 'Kina'?" The empty-handed imp whimpered, hiding behind the mountain of sweets. If it weren't for that protection, he would have been a very crispy imp.  
  
"That's Kina-sama!" Hiei roared, stomping one foot with a pout. "She's my sister!"  
  
"..." The imp moved a little closer and carefully sniffed Hiei, looking for his origins and trying to figure out where his sister might be found. Ice? The imp shrugged and disappeared again.  
  
It was at this point that Kurama appeared, being dragged by his tail by an imp. The kitsune wasn't happy. However, at the site of over a dozen imps - half of them either smoking, nursing burns or running around still on fire, and the other half kneeling down at Hiei's feet - he barely managed to...  
  
"BWAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
...not laugh *too* hard.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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AN Just a note, because I usually don't write stuff down here... from what I know (which isn't much) A "Youko" is defined as a Fox Spirit, and therefore is a race. The name "Youko Kurama" really just means "Kurama the Fox Spirit", kind of like a title. "Kitsune" is just a Japanese word for fox, I think.  
  
  
  
  
  
Kurama: so, *that's* how the imps came into play! I always wondered...  
  
Hiei: MWAHAHA!!  
  
Kurama: *slowly backs away*  
  
  
  
  
  
Next time: An attempt to leave early ends up hair raising!  
  
Feed an author, leave a review!  
  
  
  
  
  
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	10. Midstory Interlude: When Imps Rebel

First off let me say that this clip has nothing what-so-ever to do with the current story at hand. It is a side story, and therefore doesn't technicly have relivance. I will say that this takes place sometime during Hiei's time with the bandits that (according to the YYH world) took him in.  
  
This is a fanfiction, it is only a fanfiction. I don't own the characters.  
  
  
  
  
  
ALSO! Check out my recently updated fic, "Her Misfit". Someone said it was worth reading...  
  
  
  
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Mid-story Interlude  
  
When Imps Rebel  
  
  
  
Imps are vicious, demon eating herbivores. That's right, you heard me correctly. But that has nothing to do with the story at hand. This story is about a group of these demon eating herbivores that had been taken into "slavery" by a toddler.  
  
"Don't forget to clean your camp-fire mess!" Hiei, the imps' master called idly as he and the rest of the bandit gang he grew up with began their aimless wandering for the day.  
  
[The life of a Makai bandit: wake up, complain about life, eat, complain about lack of food, travel, complain about the weather, kill some guys and rob their corpses blind, complain that he got more stuff, make camp, complain about the location, and go to sleep, complaining about dreams full of fluffy bunnies and dancing purple dinosaurs.]  
  
"Clean your campsite, cook your own food, do my bidding," one imp gripped, throwing a few leaves into the fire and hoping that this time it wouldn't flare up, like it had last time.  
  
FOOOOM!!  
  
"Put water on the fire to put it out!" Hiei yelled, this time sounding amused.  
  
The imps, hating that they had to be told this every morning complied and the fire went out with a hiss.  
  
"All he does is boss us around like we're nothings!" Another imp added, not caring if it was Hiei who built them fires and Hiei who went to find them edible greens, because imps had a bad habit of picking up things that were poisonous.  
  
"I say we rebel!" A third imp decided.  
  
"YEAH! LET'S REBEL!" All the imps shouted.  
  
"But how?" Yet another imp asked, scratching its green head thoughtfully.  
  
"Let's find our own food!"  
  
"YEAH!"  
  
"And build our own fires!"  
  
"WE CAN DO IT!"  
  
"And put out our fires with water instead of leaves! Hiei-sama will hate us for that!"  
  
"YEAH! LET'S DO IT!"  
  
...  
  
Did I ever mention that Imps aren't exactly the smartest, demon-eating herbivores in the Makai?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Er... how about you just review and leave it at that?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	11. High Tailing It!

Disclaimer: *falls over laughing* You think YYH belongs to me... oh that's rich! If only!  
  
AN Right, so that I've posted my mid-story iterlude, I can get back to the main story idea. That being this chapter. Anyway, I know it's short but I had this poster I had to create about some religious holiday I had never before heard of. Ironic, ne? How it's ironic, I have absolutely no idea, but I'm sure it is somehow. Right, because of all the questions about the imps, I'll try to explain what I know, again it's not much.  
  
The imps I've created aren't technically correct according to the series. But I'm positive that Hiei has imps in his service. During the episode where Yusuke and Hiei first battle, the little demonish thing on our happy little youkai's shoulder is what I see as an Imp. The imps basicly do Hiei's bidding. And that's all I know. Enjoy the fic, tell me if you know more.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 10  
  
High-Tailing It  
  
  
  
"Ah-che!"  
  
One amber eye cracked open at the strange sound. It had been very quiet, but very sudden as well.  
  
"Ah-che!"  
  
There is was again!  
  
Kurama blinked sleepily as he regarded his surroundings. For the time that he was at the Youko convention, he had been given a small den to sleep in. Strange enough, the only other thing in the den that would make any noise at all was Hiei... and the small child, as far as Kurama knew, had been drawing up plans for his new Imp workers after nearly an hour of playing in the rain.  
  
He hadn't seen much, but the drawings had a lot of red in them.  
  
"Ah-che!"  
  
What in the world was that noise? Finally, Kurama's eyes landed on Hiei's slumped over form. Oh, it was only Hiei sneezing. HOW CUTE!!! Kurama crawled over to his baby's side and waited patiently for another of those oh-so-cute sounds. Ears perked, tail wagging, eyes wide and hopeful.  
  
"Ah... ah..." Hiei seemed to give up on his most recent sneeze for a snore and a shiver. Kurama sighed and turned away, ears drooping.  
  
"AH-CHE!" Strange, Hiei's hair seemed to poof up a little with each sneeze.  
  
With a little 'aw', Kurama smiled happily and removed the tiny body from the cold stone floor. The happy smile turned into a horrified grimace when Kurama realized just *why* Hiei was sneezing. Placing the back of his hand against Hiei's forehead, he winced, trying to ignore the pain and smell of burning flesh. Poor Hiei! His little baby had a cold!  
  
Hiei woke when his little body was practically flung from the ground. Body convulsing with shivers and sneezes, the little Youkai really don't do anything in protest except...  
  
"Ah-che!" WEE! His hair poofed again!  
  
"AWWW!!!"  
  
...be as cute and pathetic as possible. And then it was into the make-shift tub for the little demon. Hiei was almost too busy sneezing to actually notice the sudden decrease in his temperature. Sneezes on hold, the baby settled for shivering violently instead. "Don't fidget baby, Mama will make you all better!"  
  
Hiei didn't cease in his attempts to be removed from the large leaf full of water. If anything, his actions became more adamant as his shivers began to combine with even more of those adorable sneezes. Now, it was obvious that if Hiei were honestly awake for this, and in his right mind - he would have raised his Youki to heat the water... fortunately for Kurama, he wasn't.  
  
"Ah-che!" Poof! "Ah-che!" Poof! "Ah-che!" Poof!  
  
"AW..! Really, Hiei - stop fighting! If you keep sneezing like that I'll be paralyzed with cuteness! Besides I'm not quite sure how much more your hair can tolerate at this rate."  
  
"Ah-che!" POOF!  
  
Finally, Kurama decided that Hiei's temperature was as stable as he could get it and removed the small form from the water. Wrapping his precious bundle in a blanket, Kurama brought the child to his own bed and tucked them both under a mountain of warmth. He decided that sleep was the best answer for Hiei's condition.  
  
The fact that the Youko himself was almost falling over from exhaustion had nothing to do with that decision.  
  
Nothing at all.  
  
Sleep fell easily over the two, and they both managed to wake just as the sun began to rise. Kurama, already dreading the meetings he would be forced to attend during that day decided that taking Hiei home would be the best cure for the baby. Packing up Hiei's red drawings, blankets, and stuffed animals, he made sure everything was safety packed away. But still, he was sure he was forgetting something...  
  
"Ah-che!"  
  
Oh yeah, Hiei.  
  
Leaving the cave, he didn't expect to find two rather young looking Youko's standing outside his den.  
  
"The elders heard commotion here last night and we were sent to investigate." The taller said pompously, tossing back his brown hair. The smaller just stared at Hiei adoringly.  
  
"Hiei is sick, so I'm taking him home." Kurama said just as pompously. With a little luck, a short blast of wind would toss his hair and allow his tunic to billow dramatically.  
  
Woosh!  
  
Ah good, luck was on his side this morning.  
  
"You're not allowed to leave." The Youko said, this time enviously. Really, why did Kurama get the wind blast? "Under the laws of Inari, all Fox Spirits must attend at least three days of socializing also known as Torture By Gossip. You have only been here... um... four days."  
  
Kurama lifted an eyebrow elegantly just as another gust of wind approached and ruffled his hair back once more.  
  
"So... by order of the elders... you must - stay?" Darn him and his wind blasts!  
  
"Ah-che!" Hiei made his argument known from the confides of his blanket prison.  
  
"Aw!" The three Youko's coursed. Shaking themselves of the fire demon's cuteness spell, the returned to the topic on hand.  
  
"Say," the smaller Youko said suddenly, peering carefully at Hiei. "Didn't his hair lay flat before? Why is it all spiky now?" It didn't really matter, but it sure did make Hiei look a lot cuter. With spiky black hair, tinted blue in the right light, and a little white starburst in the front. No demon could retaliate against the baby now. He was invincible!  
  
"Every time he sneezes, his hair spikes." Kurama said adoringly.  
  
"Ah-che!"  
  
"AW!"  
  
"Anyway, I'm leaving." Kurama reiterated. Still lost in the cuteness, the two Youko's could do nothing as Kurama walked away and out of the Youko's territory. Although, they did have a good laugh when they saw that a very large line of imps were following. It seemed that each imp was carrying a large backpack.  
  
Some were riding on small beasts. A few were crying as they left the territory for their lifetime of serving Hiei. Darn the toddler for being so intimidatingly cute!  
  
Kurama himself decided that if Imps felt like following him home that was fine. Once at his territory he would set up some sort of system so that the imps would only show up when needed, rather then follow his baby around like a bunch of lost rabbits.  
  
Hm... speaking of rabbits... Kurama was hungry. Lunch time!  
  
  
  
  
  
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Kurama: you're hair poofs like that because you got sick when you were little?  
  
Hiei: ... I though it was naturally spikey!  
  
Kurama: Well, we all learn something new everyday I guess...  
  
Hiei: *sighs*  
  
  
  
  
  
Next time: The angst appears, ambushed!  
  
Reviews = motivation. The more motivation, the faster the update. Review!  
  
  
  
  
  
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	12. Stolen

Disclaimer: Of course Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to me! And I also own the universe! That's right, every planet and star and speck of dust and microorganism belong to me. *note sarcasm*  
  
  
  
  
  
AN If any of you have ever seen Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail, you might note that one of the lines in this fic is from it. Can you figure out which one? Also, this isn't as angsty as I wanted it to be, because I was writing this chapter while my class was supposed to be watching a movie - that we weren't really watching. Does that make sense, no. Good.  
  
Also, I want to let you all know that Hiei isn't really afraid of clowns. I just added that part for humor. Stop being confused.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Chapter 11  
  
Stolen  
  
  
  
It was only a matter of time, Kurama glumly decided. With Hiei's growing fame as a powerful Youkai, he was bound to be feared. And with that fear came the hundred of pompous challengers that decided to take him away from the world.  
  
What morons.  
  
"Have at you!"  
  
Hiei merely sneezed at his latest challenger, about the fiftieth that day, in response.  
  
"Hiei, fire brat - have at you!"  
  
Hiei then pouted, still suffering form his cold. "NOOOO!!" He whined, attempting to hide behind Kurama. "Mama, I don't wanna play with him! I'm still sleepy!"  
  
Kurama turned slitted eyes to glare at the tall demon. "You heard him, go away! Come back tomorrow or something!"  
  
"I will not leave until I've defeated him!" The demon insisted. "Have at you!"  
  
Hiei let out another whine as Kurama stepped out from in front of him. The little demon attempted to continue hiding behind the Youko's legs, but quickly realized the sooner he defeated his new foe, the quicker he could go to sleep. The little boy reluctantly drew his sword. The large demon scoffed and surrounded himself what looked to be a very strong barrier. It wasn't really, just a haze to brown light. Dragging his sword behind him, Hiei sighed again before pouncing.  
  
"Have at-"  
  
"Can I sleep now?" Hiei asked, turning back to his Mama, sticking out his lower lip in a way that enhanced his cuteness. Kurama nodded and smiled.  
  
"Of course baby. You've been fighting all day."  
  
The toddler let out a sigh of relief and allowed hismelf to succumb to darkness and sleep. And thus explains why two hours later, Kurama was easily ambushed. He had had a few things on his mind - not to mention he wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings. And he had long ago turned out the complaining imps behind him. Hiei was still sleeping - wrapped up in a cocoon of vines to keep him warm.  
  
And then, he was attacked from behind. It was the perfect moment, really. Hiei had just entered another sneezing fit, while Kurama was helpless against the moment of cuteness. It was quite an accomplishment, taking a Youko by complete surprise. Yet, under the correct circumstances, it could be done.  
  
The imps quickly fled.  
  
"Give us all your valuables and we'll leave a few of your limbs untouched!" Came the shout after the Youko and his fire demon had been completely surrounded by a band of forty or so thieves.  
  
By his new motherly instincts, Kurama clutched Hiei's still sleeping and still cocooned form close to his body. Then, taking a few steps backwards before realizing there were more thieves behind him. They must have been getting smarter.  
  
"Give it up, now!"  
  
Now, if Kurama had been alone at this moment in time, he would have defeated the thieves in less then a minute. But because he was holding his very tired and very sick baby, fighting tactics fled his mind and panic took full front. He didn't even have the thought to announce himself and have the joy of watching the thieves run for their lives. In truth, Kurama was so preoccupied with panicking, he didn't notice one of the thieves approaching from behind until he received a crack on the head and a paralyzing snap at his neck.  
  
"Take the goods and leave him."  
  
Kurama, still unable to move his body, could only watch as more of the demons moved closer. With one last ditch effort, having finally gathered his senses together, the plant controlling Youko grew the grass around him into long and sharp blades, before directing them to shred apart the oncoming Youkai's. Hiei finally woke up, feeling the powerful energy coming from his Mama. The little demon tried to escape the vines holding him, but Kurama had made them fireproof. And thus, Hiei proof.  
  
"Mama!?" Hiei screeched, trying to claw his way free.  
  
Kurama, exhausted both physically and power-wise slumped towards the ground. And only last demon remained. The demon picked up Hiei and peered closely at the two red eyes peeking back out at him. Then, his gave went back to the nearly unconscious Kurama. The demon quickly decided that Kurama was near death and would die more painful the way he was going.  
  
"Hiei," Kurama sobbingly whispered, already knowing his baby's fate. The small child had already been identified as a Koorime, and in that knowledge, a precious jewel factory. "Don't cry Hiei, never cry. And be strong, I'll come and get you..." And then he was out - vines scuttling over his form to hide him by reflex.  
  
"Ma...-ma?" Hiei whispered, eyes wide.  
  
"He's dead kid." The demon thief said before taking a very firm hold of the cocoon's strap and began dragging Hiei along behind him.  
  
"MAAAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
  
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After the theft of Hiei, Kurama became ruthless. He did spend many years searching desperately for his baby - or even the imps that followed him everywhere. But even after four hundred years, he found nothing. After about three hundred of those years, the one imp he managed to snatch reported that he could not find even a baby carriage and Kurama ended up killing him out of anger. The Youko's had been no help at all. If Hiei had been a Youko kit, they would have acted - but not a demon that Kurama had found.  
  
Because of his loss, Kurama's eyes lost their motherly gleam. He became more cold and fierce with each item he stole, and every demon he killed. All demons fled at even the faintest trace of his ki. Plundering became his life, stealing things that didn't even come close to value what he had lost.  
  
And all traces of humor let him.  
  
Until that fateful day - when he was shot by the hunter. The day he fled to the human world and took over a human fetus that would die from a miscarriage in less then a week's time. That day when Hiei's seemingly innocent words filled his ears.  
  
Strangely enough, the day when Hiei's dreams about a dying peanut finally made sense.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Hiei: that wasn't very angsty.  
  
Kurama: maybe not for you! I became the ruthless Youko Kurama! I liked being OOC!  
  
Hiei: but, I finally got to grow up!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ahm... sorry about them. Anyway remember what I said last time? About reviews being motivation? Yeah, so review.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	13. MY BABY! smack

Disclaimer: The characters are mine. I will do what I wish with them. *runs from the authorities*  
  
  
  
AN Yay! I've actually continued this story reletivly quickly. Please ignore all previous and future spelling mistakes. And don't worry about this making any sense, I've givin up on that a long time ago. Please, enjoy - although this isn't quite as funny as I thought it owuld end up being. *sighs* Oh well. Just review, ne?  
  
  
  
*shameless begging* Please read/review my story Her Misfit.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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PART II  
  
Chapter 1  
  
MY BABY! (SMACK)  
  
  
  
The bedroom looked normal enough. There was a large desk with textbooks stacked neatly on it. A bookshelf with many novels lining the shelves, most of the books still in perfect condition. A closet was open next to the desk, showing a colorful array of identical pink school uniforms. And of course, a bed.  
  
The bed was currently occupied by two figures. Both were very small, seemingly children. But well, looks can be deceiving. Becase we all know that no ten year old child would be stupid enough to sit next to a random demon that had attacked him in the middle of the street. No, no. These two figures were much older then they looked.  
  
One figure, seemingly the younger of the two, was lying down on the bed. Being unconscious, it was only logical for him to be lying down. A bit of drool was dripping down his chin and a small wet patch on his yellow checked pajamas indicated he had been drooling for quite some time.  
  
The second form was sitting as still as a statue, staring at the first with abnormally large green eyes. A head full of bright red hair blocked the most of his features, and his pink school uniform seemed to be just the right color to match his hair, instead of clashing horribly.  
  
The green eyed, red haired boy began to grow impatient. "Wake up!" He whined, thus revealing his age with a squeeky "I've yet to go through puberty (so don't laugh at me)" ten year old voice.  
  
One eye of the unconscious, drooling demon fluttered - as though trying to dismiss the voice as a dream.  
  
"Shuuichi!"  
  
The green eyed boy tensed, before running to the door of his bedroom and opening it. "Hai, 'Kassa?"  
  
"I'm going to the store, would you like to come with me?"  
  
Shuuichi glanced back at the small body lying on his bed. It twitched.  
  
"No thanks, 'Kassan. I have some more homework to do."  
  
"Alright, be good. I'll be back in two hours."  
  
The voice of this "'Kassan" fadded, muttering things to herself about what sorts of things she needed to get from the store. A moment later the sounds of a door opening and closing were heard. About that time, Shuuichi had returned to staring at the figure on his bed. Two red eyes suddenly snapped open and Shuuichi nearly screamed in joy.  
  
"MY BABY!"  
  
He pounced, the second boy being reduced to a small lump of flattened and flailing limbs.  
  
"GET OFF!"  
  
"You're alive! You're okay! You're safe!" Shuuichi chanted, still clining to the still flailing boy.  
  
"Who the hell are you?"  
  
SMACK!  
  
"You watch your mouth, young man!" Shuuichi scolded. "I did *not* raise you for you to be reduced to some lower class beast! And on that note, what in the world did you do to your head, Hiei? Getting the Jagan! What are you, stupid? I told you I'd find you!"  
  
The boy, having now been revealed as Hiei allowed his red eyes to widened in shock, one hand moving to cradle his red cheek. "I was just-" he started to explain, trying to quell the rage of the ten year old human sitting on his chest.  
  
"And *what* arey ou doing in Ningenkai?" Shuuichi continued, standing up and placing his small hands on his pink-clad hips. "Not that I'm not happy you're safe, but really! I taught you better then to go flaunting around like this!"  
  
The small red headed boy continued ranting to a beweildered Hiei. About this time the demon realized he was wearing clothes that he had most deffinetly not been wearing the day before. He also finally realized that the drool previously dripping down his face had dried into a strangely smelling pasty ...thing. But before he could do anything, Shuuichi had scooped him up and dumpped him into a large basin of water.  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!"  
  
"Oh stop your whining!" Shuuichi grumbled, expertly peeling off Hiei's yellow checked pajamas. "You think you would have grown up since you were two years old but noooo... those theives must have really stunted the progress I had made with you. Four hundred years old and still whining about a little bath!"  
  
Hiei's eyes narrowed and his ki level spiked dangerously. "Just who the he-" he faultered for a moment, remembering what had happened the last time he swore. "Who are you?" He finally asked.  
  
"I'm Kurama!"  
  
"..."  
  
"I raised you!"  
  
"...?"  
  
Shuuichi, no, Kurama sighed and began throwing buckets of water over Hiei's hair, a weak attempt to flatten the still spiky locks. "You called me 'Mama'." He explained. "I found you the very day you had been thrown off the Koorime island. You were the strangest little demon, but very powerful. Youkai would come from all over Makai to challange you. You also had many dreams about peanuts and enjoyed burning things, especially imps..." He paused. "How are those imps anyway? Still working for you?"  
  
Hiei's eyes narrowed. "Mama died!" He declared stubbornly, crossing his arms across his chest stubbornly as Kurama hauled him from the tub and began expertly drying and redressing him. "Stupid told me so! Besides, Mama is old! Lots older then you!"  
  
SMACK! "OW!!"  
  
"I am *not* old! Six hundred and forty-seven is not old!"  
  
"..."  
  
SMACK!  
  
"Don't you give me that look!" Kurama frowned at the little demon that was nearly the same size as him. He tossed the little boy back onto the bed, this time wearing white pajamas decorated with rainbows and unicorms. "Now, get some sleep." The red head paused a moment to reach out into comeplete nothing. A moment later a small stuffed rabbit that looked like it had seen many better days appeared in his hand. He handed the rabbit to Hiei and tucked the dmon into the bed so he could have no chance to escape.  
  
"You kept Mr. Fuzzy-Tail?" Hiei asked, completely shaken. It was clear he wasn't thinking straight. because if he was, the red haired 'human' sitting next to him would be a small pile of bloody body parts. Instead, Hiei simply cradled the threadabre creature to his chest and fell into a deep sleep.  
  
He woke up with his sences back in place and quickly fled out the open window later that night.  
  
It would be six years of staring at that stuffed rabbit before his curosity got the better of him. Six... long... years...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
==============================  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kurama: *squeels in joy* MY BABY!  
  
Hiei: *petting Mr. Fuzzy-Tail* I'm not insane, I'm not insane... this story isn't really continuing, I'm not insane...  
  
Kurama: *huggs*  
  
  
  
  
  
NEXT TIME: Hiei learns just how Mama-like Kurama can be.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	14. To Take Over The World

Disclaimer: My name is "censored". I do not own YYH. Believe me, if I could - I would. AND I WON'T SHARE!!! GET YOUR OWN CHARACTERS!!! ...ahem.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN Sorry for the horribly long wait that time. I got banned from the computer all week because I 'acted out' during something that was apparently important. Important my @$$. Anyway, sadly, this isn't what I hoped it would be. Gomen, I'm sorry. I'm willing to accept ideas on how to torture characters / create humorous situations. Something's bound to come up. Let me know.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Chapter 2  
  
To Take Over The World  
  
The lifting of the spoon from bowl to mouth was slow, and mechanic. Wind lifted red hair off a pair of slight but strong shoulders, while the spoon continued its movements.  
  
Up and down. Up and down. How boring.  
  
Kurama bit back an annoyed sigh as he finally finished his dish of ice-cream. He could feel that his baby's ki was very close... but the little brat was too quick to catch. And too small to see.  
  
Annoying brat.  
  
Standing up, Kurama nodded to the elder woman who ran the shop and left. Stepping onto the sidewalk, Hiei's spirit energy became more pronounced, and Kurama didn't even have time to blink as a small body attempted to pin him on the pavement.  
  
"Hiei!" Kurama bit out, snatching the fast moving demon out of the air and into his arms. He clutched the little body in a bone-crushing hug.  
  
Hiei squirmed, his face slowly turning red as his oxygen supply was cut off.  
  
"You've finally accepted me!" It was more of a statement then a question.  
  
Hiei managed to break away from his captor. "Che! I have a few tests for you!" The small, black-clad, four-hundred year old demon declared. "To prove your claim."  
  
Kurama's eyes brightened at the prospect of a game. "Only if you call me 'Mama' again."  
  
Hiei managed to sputter in disbelief. "NANI?!"  
  
Kurama grinned and took a very firm hold of Hiei's hand. The hand that he knew Hiei used to wield his sword. "Come on." He said firmly. "We're going shopping, and then you can tell me about your little tests. It's such a cute idea!"  
  
Hiei scowled. "I'm *not* calling you 'Mama'," he sulked, wanting to cross his arms over his chest but unable to because one hand was currently being smashed in a vice-like grip. He obediently allowed himself to be dragged down the street, watching curiously as the stupid ningens around him shouted and chased each other.  
  
"Are they trying to kill each other?" Hiei wondered out loud, as they passed various parks and other forms of entertainment.  
  
"No," Kurama said, smiling down at his 'baby'. "They're just having fun. Like when you and I would torment your imps..." he allowed his voice to trail off, remembering that those very imps had betrayed his baby when he needed them the most. "And how you used to love pulling tails..." His eyes turned wistful as his empty hand discretely moved to locate where his tail should have been. "We had such fun, baby! Why can't you believe me?!"  
  
Hiei hn-ed and remained silent as Kurama led him into the largest possible department store. Much to Hiei's disbelief the red-haired boy led him directly to the children's section.  
  
"I'm not a baby anymore!" Hiei burst out.  
  
"Of course you're not," Kurama soothed, "because if you were, you'd be having temper tantrums." The 'human' began picking out random garments, things that had the slightest chance of fitting Hiei.  
  
"Excuse me, Ma'am?" A woman said from behind the two demons. "Would you like some help finding clothes for your son?" There was a pause, Kurama not speaking from shock of being mistaken as a woman.  
  
Again.  
  
Hiei was trying not to laugh too hard. Even still, a few giggles snuck out of his mouth. Kurama death-glared him and the small figure quickly shut up.  
  
"He's such an adorable little boy," the woman continued.  
  
And that's what won Kurama over. "Why thank you!" He grinned, turning around with a flip of his hair. "Every mother loves to hear that her son is the best. Hiei, say 'thank you' to this woman, isn't she just the sweetest?"  
  
There was a long, drawn-out pause. During this pause, the woman's eyes welled up with tears.  
  
"Oh, you poor dear!" She wailed to Hiei, crouching down to be at eye level. "You must be slow in the head!" She gasped, covering her mouth with both hands at the sight of Hiei's eyes. "And you've got Pink-eye in both eyes!" She continued. "Life for you must be so hard! It's a good thing that you've got a mother here that loves you so much no matter your disabilities! But what is with all this black? I think yellow is much more your color... or perhaps a very light blue..." The woman stood up and Kurama smiled winningly at her.  
  
"Isn't he just adorable!?" The Youko turned human enthused.  
  
"I WON'T WEAR YELLOW! OR BLUE! ONLY BLACK!" Hiei finally shouted, bringing the attention back to him.  
  
"Of course dear," the woman said lightly, her eyes welling up again with moistness. She turned back to Kurama. "You can choose anything you want here, completely free of charge! Even pick up a few things for yourself..."  
  
Kurama smiled again. "Arigato," he said in his most feminine voice.  
  
"I'll help Hiei-chan here find something a little more suitable..." The woman said. "You just relax..."  
  
Hiei's eyes widened impossibly wide. "H-hn?" He asked nervously, taking a step backwards, behind the safety of Kurama's arm. He attempted to hide behind the tall body but to no avail, the woman screamed out a "WAI!!!!" and lunged for him.  
  
He didn't have a chance really.  
  
  
  
===  
  
  
  
"'Kassan will love these clothes!" Kurama grinned, walking down the street, holding a handful of bags in one hand and Hiei's hand in his other. "Now, we'll have to think of a suitable story for you to stay of course," he continued, chancing a glance at his little companion. "And once we get home you can tell me all about this little plot to take over the world."  
  
Hiei's eyes widened. "I never said that!" He objected, hating that his plan had been revealed so easily. "Am I that transparent?" He asked dejectedly.  
  
"No," Kurama laughed, giving the little hand a squeeze. "But I raised you to be ambitious. It's natural for you to want to do that. Wreaking chaos was one of my specialties; it's obviously something you picked up from me before you were ...stolen."  
  
"Hn."  
  
They arrived at the Minamino residence only to find that "'Kassan" wasn't there. So, Kurama quickly pulled Hiei up into his room and set him on the bed along with all of their 'purchases'. That woman really had been true to her word about giving them what ever they wanted. Half the store now resided in Kurama's bedroom.  
  
He wasn't quite sure what he was going to do with a dozen household appliances and such... but the big-screen TV that was coming his way was bound to come in handy those nights he couldn't sleep. He would have to take Hiei shopping other places as well and try his luck there.  
  
"Now," he said once they had both been seated comfortably among a new array of pillows and blankets. "What's your plan?"  
  
Hiei grinned maliciously - as much as he could, considering he was wearing new gray silk pajamas, sitting on a fuzzy pink, heart-shaped pillow and cradling Mr. Fuzzy-Tail in his lap. "The prince of fools got a new Spirit Detective." He announced. "I say we test him out a bit."  
  
Kurama grinned. "Somehow, I knew your plans would be good ones. Keep going, this sounds like fun."  
  
Hiei smirked, looking down at his lap and trying to conceal his pride at the compliment. "Here's what we're going to need to do..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Hiei: I'M NOT SLOW!!!  
  
Kurama: ...  
  
Hiei: AUGHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A chapter is worth a thousand reviews. But I'm willing to settle for what ever you'll give me.  
  
REVIEW!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	15. Sweet Snow Is A No No

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters! I don't own the story! I don't own the Pepsi company! ...Damn, now I'm depressed!  
  
  
  
AN Hey all! This chapter was actually supposed to go up last night, on All'Hallows Eve, but to tell the truth, it was only a page long. Hehe, sorry about that. But now it's done, and there can be much rejoicing! *crickets chirp* Or not... anyway, enjoy the chapter, and say "Welcome" (read: throw rotten vegetables) to Gouki, our stupid youki. *sighs*  
  
BTW: I'm sorry that I made Kurama seem girly. It wasn't intentional, I was trying to make him 'playful', like Youko's are supposed to be. Hope I tuned it down enough to be non-girly. Also.... WARNING! OOC-Hiei alert. A bit of AU-ness as well.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Chapter 3  
  
Sweet-Snow Is A No-No  
  
  
  
"His name is Gouki," Hiei explained around his dish of "sweet-snow". For some reason, the demon loved the dish of frozen milk and sugar. Hiei usually hated things that were cold. And he tended to avoid things that were partly frozen.  
  
If you excluded his sister - and now sweet-snow.  
  
But Kurama didn't dare point this out, Hiei's emotional bursts were scary. He must have learned that from the Thieves, because *Kurama* wasn't like that. Not like that at all.  
  
"Anyway," Hiei said, digging his spoon into his third tub of ice-cream, this time Black Cheery Chunk. "He's a Soul Eating Demon, but he should be able to take the blame if something goes wrong with the plan. You'll met him later tonight."  
  
Kurama nodded, still astounded that Hiei loved ice-cream so much, but also depressed about his mother's illness. The mirror was the only way to save her life now, he knew. There was no other way, and he owed her for stealing her son. "Right after we go to see 'Kassan," he agreed. "I want you to meet her..." He trailed off, not finishing his sentence.  
  
Hiei quirked a thoughtful brow. "She's that Ningen in the hospital that smells kind of like you?" He asked, voice now muffled because the Youkai was attempting to lick the inside of the empty ice-cream tub. He reappeared with a bit of cream on the tip of his nose.  
  
Kurama chuckled and moved to wipe it off with a handy napkin. "Yes," he said. "She's my human mother."  
  
Hiei nodded before looking around the kitchen. "Do you have any more sweet-snow?" He asked hopefully. His expression fell when the red haired boy across from his shook his head.  
  
"Come on," Kurama said standing up and holding his hand out to his little demon. "Let's get you cleaned up and then we can go and visit 'Kassan."  
  
The spiky haired fire-demon sighed but allowed himself to be pulled into the bathroom so he could wash his hands, face and hair clean of sweet-snow. Kurama made sure he completed his task by baring the door until he pronounced Hiei clean. The Youko then forced Hiei to change his clothes into a formal looking black kimono with yellow trim they had stolen during their outing that morning. But all the while, the playful gleam in Kurama's eyes seemed a little subdued, and his smile was a bit forced.  
  
"Perfect!" Kurama announced, taking Hiei's hand and tugging him out of his bedroom and out of the house. He locked the front door and continued walking with his 'baby' trailing behind him. "You'll love her Hiei, she's the sweetest Ningen I've ever met. A little eccentric, but nice all the same."  
  
"Hn."  
  
Kurama grinned, well on his way to decoding Hiei's hn's. That particular 'Hn' meant that Hiei was unsure but willing to be in the same room as her. He might even tolerate looking at her, and just maybe he would allow her to talk to him.  
  
"You'll be fine." Kurama soothed. "Trust me."  
  
"Hn!"  
  
Translation: "no idiot in their right mind would trust you!"  
  
  
  
===  
  
  
  
"You see," Kurama said after they had left the hospital a little later that afternoon. "It wasn't so bad."  
  
Hiei shot him a look while trying to fluff his hair back up. Kurama was getting good at reading his looks as well. This one said, "that crazy ningen spent two hours trying to make my hair lie flat! My scalp hurts! She also insisted on knitting me booties! My feet might be warmer, but that doesn't mean I like them! They're pink for Inari's sake!" The look subsided and Hiei returned to his task to fluffing his hair.  
  
Kurama laughed softly and bent down to dangle his hair just in front of Hiei's nose. The soft strands tickled the tip of said nose and Kurama straightened, tossing his hair back to where it belonged. Then, he stepped back as Hiei first glowered and then sneezed. "Ah-che!"  
  
POOF!!  
  
"AW!!"  
  
Well, that hadn't changed in four hundred years. Hiei looked so adorably confused at that moment, wondering what had just happened to him. And why his hair had fluffed when he sneezed. It probably meant that he had never sneezed in all his four hundred years after he was stolen, which confused Kurama as to how his hair stayed spiked even after he washed it. Then he remembered. Hiei sometimes sneezed in his sleep, especially after he had had a bath. That was another thing to trap the Youko in the snare of cuteness. He couldn't help it! Hiei's sneezes were so cute!  
  
"Let's get some dinner," Kurama said, shaking himself free of Hiei's spell. "I know this great place-"  
  
"Sweet-snow?" Hiei interrupted, thinking that maybe he could use this new sneeze-attack to his advantage.  
  
"No." Kurama said without missing a beat. "But anyway, after dinner, we can go meet Gouki. Where is he supposed to be?"  
  
"The park." Hiei muttered, annoyed because his chance at sweet-snow had been shot down so quickly. So, he tried again.  
  
"Ah-che!"  
  
POOF!  
  
"AW!!"  
  
"Sweet-snow?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
Hiei pouted and Kurama's eyes lit up with renewed playfulness. "Let's have a picnic at the park!" He cried, taking Hiei's hand and stringing the poor demon along behind him. And this is how Hiei ended up being tied down to a blanket by vines being force-fed vegetables.  
  
"Stupid tomatoes!" Hiei screamed, torching another one in Kurama's face. It exploded in a sticky mess. "I won't eat it! You can't make me!"  
  
After dinner, Hiei was forced into an infant swing and pushed until his dinner threatened to come up on Kurama's precious pink clothing. Gouki found them just after Kurama helped steady Hiei from his ride on the Merry-Go-Round. He didn't know Hiei knew so many ways to threaten somebody. Everybody else in the park had ran for their lives, not wanting to bear the burn of Hiei's wrath. (1)  
  
They didn't stop to consider they might actually end up nursing third degree burns.  
  
It was when the Koukonki appeared that Hiei and Kurama turned serious. Kurama had to prove once again that he was the legendary thief, Youko Kurama, but it was worth it. They got to work, planning exactly what to do. First, they had to somehow disable the wards in and around the Reikai Palace. Then, distract the guards enough to get to the Kings Vault, which held the treasures they were after. It was decided that Hiei would somehow steal a map of the palace, Gouki would pretend he didn't exist, and Kurama would, well, be Kurama and try to figure the best way to get through all the wards placed around the palace.  
  
"Okay," Gouki said, scratching his head rather stupidly, trying to get the plan straight. "What was the point of me being in this alliance?"  
  
"So you can scare all the Oni with your ugly face." Kurama said sweetly.  
  
Hiei rolled his eyes.  
  
Gouki scowled but deicided he liked living so didn't comment.  
  
"Okay," Hiei said, standing up and nodding for the other two to do so as well. "I'll get the map and we'll meet back here next week for another meeting."  
  
Kurama smiled sadly. Gouki nodded stupidly.  
  
"Sounds good Hiei, I think that I'll-"  
  
"That's Hiei-sama." Kurama interrupted. "That's what you shall call him."  
  
"Why?" The Koukonki asked, scratching one of his horns in confusion.  
  
"Because if you don't, I'll kill you." Kurama threatened calmly, pulling his rose from his hair and thrusting it out into his Rose Whip. The best weapon he had found in the Ningenkai. Not to say there weren't others, but he thought the rose was the best. A beautiful flower, but covered with thorns. Perfect.  
  
"Eh..." Gouki eyed the whip nervously, remembering his earlier decision about wanting to live. "I'll see you two next week... Hiei-sama... Youko-sama..." He bowed and zipped away.  
  
Once he was out of hearing range, Hiei turned to Kurama with a demonic glint in his eyes. Which was only logical, seeing as he was a demon.  
  
"I WANT SWEET-SNOW" He bellowed.  
  
Kurama groaned and began walking home.  
  
"SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET-SNOWWWWWWWW!" Hiei screached, tugging on his school uniform and being dragged along. Just Kurama's luck, his shirt ripped.  
  
Great, now he had to go and steal a new one. And the protection on those pink school uniforms was intense! Stupid Fire-Youkai. Kurama continued walking, highly mindful to staying in the shadows, for you never knew when the horde of rabid females might attack. They were scary.  
  
And all the while Kurama walked, Hiei continued to scream for his precious sweet-snow. It was going to be a long week.  
  
  
  
  
  
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(1) Um, sorry about the horrible pun. It came out on accident.  
  
  
  
Kurama: why did you have to bring sweet-snow into this? *falls to knees in mental anguish*  
  
Hiei: I WANT SWEET-SNOW!  
  
Kurama: WHY ME?! What did I do in a past life to deserve this?  
  
  
  
Reviews are gold, make me rich!  
  
  
  
Choices for next time:  
  
1) They (Hiei, Kurama and Gouki) steal the artifacts.  
  
2) Another meeting in which Kurama scares Gouki ****less.  
  
3) HELLO YUSUKE!  
  
  
  
  
  
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	16. Stealing from Reikai

Disclaimer: By giving up claim on these characters, I am admitting that I am a lonely person with too much free time. I hate being honest.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN Gomen! Gomen! This chapter is so bad! Its angsty! It's not funny, but angsty! Please don't hurt me! I didn't mean for that to happen! *sobs* I wanted a funny chapter, but this is how it came out. Even my muses were cringing at the complete OOC-ness I have displayed. *pounds on keyboard in distress* Stupid! Stupid! Bunny no baka!!!  
  
  
  
Um... also, there will only be one chapter after this. To wrap it all up. Hopefully, it will make up for all chapters lacking humor.  
  
  
  
*shameless begging* Go read my NEW FIC (that should be updated soon) Strangers. Also, go see my LIVE JOURNAL (info in bio).  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Chapter 4  
  
Stealing from Reikai  
  
  
  
Kurama looked up from his math homework with a startled frown. He was positive that there had been a tapping at his window - which wasn't too strange, the tree there sometimes scraped against the glass. What had surprised him was an almost silent cry of surprise, and a dull thud seconds later.  
  
The red head cautiously closed his math book, put down his pencil and got to his feet. He was debating whether or not to summon one of his plants just in case, before deciding to use the tree outside his window to ensnare whatever was outside the window.  
  
What he wasn't expecting were the resulting flames.  
  
Kurama gasped and rushed to his window, throwing it open and realizing with relief that it was raining out. Then he recognized Hiei's ki. Seconds later, the soaking wet Youkai crawled away from the trunk of the tree and along the branch he had been trapped on. Kurama helped him inside the house as best he could.  
  
"You poor thing," Kurama said softly, trying not to laugh. He must have a death wish or something, laughing at Hiei.  
  
Hiei was standing in the middle of his bedroom, so wet that his hair was sticking to his head, heavy with water. His clothes clung to him and a pile of water was already beginning to collect at his feet. Once Hiei was sure no more water would land on his body, he boosted his ki and was instantly dried.  
  
Kurama hurried off to retrieve a towel to wipe up the water on his floor.  
  
"I tried knocking on your stupid door, Fox. I spent nearly ten minutes down there!" The fire Youkai glared in a way that caused things around him to spontaneously combust. Unfortunately for Kurama, his just finished math homework went up in flames. Kurama ignored it for moping up his floor to keep the wood from warping.  
  
"Well," he asked once he had finished his task and hung the towel over his desk chair to dry. His math homework was long gone by then. "Did you get the map?"  
  
Hiei nodded proudly. "There was a big display of maps in the front entrance," he said, his whole attitude changing. "There was also a big sign that said "you are here" and it pointed to a place on a map." He pulled out the Reikai map from his Personal Space with a flourish and handed it over.  
  
"Very nice," Kurama said with a smile. The map was perfectly detailed, including little labels that said things like "Koenma's office" and "bathroom #54 (oni only)" and "Library" and "Kings Vault."  
  
"Ohh!" Kurama said with a low whistle. "A library!" His eyes glistened at the thought of the texts that were sure to be hidden in the Reikai library. There was bound to be something interesting there. Something that he could steal... Then he remembered why he had the map in the first place, to steal the mirror. And when he got the mirror he was going to use his life to save his mothers.  
  
Good thing Hiei didn't know that part of the plan. The little demon would kill him himself.  
  
"Kitsune no baka!" Hiei said, snatching the map back. "We're going to the vault, not the library - it's on the other side of the palace! All you need to do is find the safest and fastest way to the vault, how to get in, and back out. You've got two days."   
  
Hiei then turned to dig through Kurama's closet, where all of his new possessions had been stored. He pulled out a pair of black pajamas that looked almost exactly like his normal clothes, changed into them, crawled into Kurama's bed and fell asleep.  
  
"Well," Kurama muttered, staring first at Hiei in his bed, and then down at the map in his hand, and then over at his pile of almost finished homework. "At least Hiei trusts me enough to sleep in my presence. But how am I going to explain my homework to the teacher? "I'm sorry sir, but a fire youkai burned my homework."?"  
  
"Kitsune no baka," Hiei muttered from the bed. "Just do it again."  
  
Well, obviously Hiei had never experienced the horrors of Advanced Trigonometry. Do it again, that would take *hours*!  
  
  
  
===  
  
  
  
"Okay," Kurama said calmly, "this is our path into the palace..." He pointed at a certain spot along the outside wall. "This is where Hiei said he got in last week, so that's where we'll go. Then we'll head into the palace from this door here. The wards shouldn't activate until Koenma realizes that there are intruders in the palace. Gouki, you'll head off to this part of the palace here," Kurama pointed to the place furthest possible from the Kings Vault - the library. "Hiei and I will get to the vault and meet you here," he pointed to the front doors. "There will be such an uproar that we should be able to get away cleanly."  
  
All the while Kurama had been talking; he had been carefully directing his ki into the grass under Gouki's feet. The grass had grown upward and wrapped itself into the Koukonki's pants. With Kurama's final words, he released his ki from the grass and pretended not to notice as the demons pants fell to his ankles. Hiei had a harder time hiding his laughter. Gouki didn't notice.  
  
With the plan laid out, to which Gouki didn't look to sure of, but he valued life and didn't bother to comment. He just grunted his assessment, pants still on the ground. With Kurama's part said, the meeting was declared over and the three demons departed. But only after Hiei told them that they would steal the artifacts the very next night. And Gouki finally realized that he had been depantsed and turned a very unflattering shade of red. He didn't look at Kurama when he did though - and he disappeared moments later.  
  
Kurama chuckled, sighed and began walking home. He didn't even both to keep to the shadows, so his fan-club of stalker girls found him easily and began- well, stalking him really.  
  
"Shuuichi, what are you doing tomorrow night, would you like to see a movie with me?"  
  
"Shuuichi, how is your mother doing, any better?"  
  
"Oh, poor Shuuichi! Living all alone, would you like to stay at my house?"  
  
Kurama nearly shuddered at that last one. He slowed down, stopped and turned around with his fake smile plastered across his face. "I'm sorry girls," he said with fake regret, "but I was planning to spend time with my mother at the hospital tomorrow night. And I have a visitor from my past staying with me. He went out to get some Ice-cream with a friend, but I promised to meet him back at my house." For some reason, Kurama didn't feel like lying outrageously to the girls again. Usually he would come up with something completely random, like this:  
  
"I'm sorry girls, but I was going to go on a camping trip this weekend to harmonize myself with nature and the world around me. I think its such a waste that people don't commune themselves with trees, don't you?" And then he would walk off, whistling to himself. A few days later, the girls would become nature loving activists, while Kurama would sneak to the Makai and rob somebody blind using only a plant seed.  
  
Irony was such a wonderful thing.  
  
  
  
===  
  
  
  
"Okay, so... what do I do again?" Gouki asked, scratching his horns in confusion.  
  
Hiei sighed and handed him a map. "Go here." He pointed to the spot labeled 'Library'. "Make as much noise and disturbance you possibly can when you get there. Eat an oni or something."  
  
Gouki's eyes gleamed and he scurried away.  
  
"Let's get the artifacts and get out of here." Kurama said calmly, his voice betraying the excitement he was feeling. He hadn't done a raid like this in years. Since before he came to the Ningenkai. Hiei nodded at his words and they hurried off to the Kings Vault.  
  
"Why they have information maps in the front lobby of the palace I'll never know." He muttered darkly, glancing again at the map in his hand. They followed the twisting hallways deeper and deeper into the palace. They finally stopped outside a large set of doors, with the words "Kings Vault, do not enter" written in bold across them.  
  
Kurama snorted, checked carefully for wards, and simply opened the door. Hiei scanned the inside for wards, darted inside, retrieved the items - faster then Kurama could blink - and landed right back to where he started.  
  
"Let's go pick up the idiot." Hiei sighed, obviously not wanting to. Kurama nodded. They made it halfway to the meeting place before the alarms went off and a child-like voice echoed through the building.  
  
"All hands to section H-3, the library. There is a disturbance..." the voice trailed off. Moments later it was back. "Block every exit, someone has been into the Vault... they've stolen all three of them!"  
  
Hiei grunted, scooped Kurama up in his arms and began running as fast as possible to the meeting place with Gouki.  
  
"Come on," he said loud enough to attract some unwanted attention. "We're done here."  
  
"Yes," Kurama added. "We don't want to linger enough to be caught."  
  
Gouki dropped his oni and followed the two demons out of the palace and back to the Ningenkai. It was amazing that they got away at all. Until when they were meeting the next night - when Kurama declared himself free of the alliance he had set with Hiei.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said to Hiei, "I must withdraw from this alliance." He lowered his eyes and immediately blocked his thoughts so that Hiei couldn't find out why.  
  
"What?" Hiei gasped, shock quickly gave way for anger. "You coward!" He cried, "These years in the human world have made you just like them! Spineless and weak!"  
  
Gouki, on the other hand, reacted with relief. "I don't mind if he leaves, but hand over the pretty mirror first."  
  
"I can't," Kurama told him, a hard gleam in his eyes. "I have great need for it myself first."  
  
"If you won't give it up, I'll rip it from you!" Gouki yelled, taking a few steps towards the red-head.  
  
And then, they were found. By a boy, holding a tree-branch over his head as though it would keep away the rain. Well, it might for Kurama, but it wouldn't for anybody else.  
  
The next things to happen were a little blurry. The boy introduced himself as Yusuke... Hiei said something about his lack of spirit energy, and Kurama simply left. Hiei caught up with him seconds later.  
  
"I accept you as the one who raised me," the fire youkai said desperately, trying to change Kurama's mind about using the mirror for his mother. "I got the eye for you, so I could find you! Please don't die; I don't want to loose you again!"  
  
"I can't be selfish any more Hiei," Kurama said softly, running a hand through Hiei's soft hair. "I've taken too many lives, and it's only fitting that I give mine to save the one person who changed my hardened soul. She needs me, baby. This is the only thing I can do to pay her back. I needed someone to make the hurt go away. I lost you and it nearly killed me. But if I lost her, I'm almost sure that there won't be a second chance to soften my soul."  
  
"But," Hiei whispered, throwing caution into the winds and lunging forwards to latch around Kurama's waist. "Who will soften my soul?"  
  
"Come fine me in the Makai," Kurama said, stroking Hiei's hair as though he were trying to flatten the spiky locks. "You know where my den is, I bet. I'll be waiting for you there."  
  
Hiei sighed and let go of the red head. "That spirit detective won't let you die." He said finally. "I've seen him a few times in town. He's a punk, but only when he needs to be. If you tell him your reasons for stealing the mirror, he won't kill you." Hiei sighed. "Stupid fox."  
  
"Hey Hiei," Kurama said, starting to walk away already. "How did you know what I was planning?"  
  
"You talk in your sleep, kitsune." Hiei called back. "Always have."  
  
Kurama turned red.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Hiei: So mushy, can't stand it...  
  
Kurama: It was so OOC! *falls to knees in distress* NOOO!!!  
  
Hiei: Get it away! Get it away!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
That chapter was crap, so please insult me as you see fit.  
  
REVIEW!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	17. So, That's Why?

Disclaimer: The only good thing about not owning these characters is that I can borrow them for extended periods of time and write fics about them. But that can be debated. Owning them would be a lot better.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN Well, I don't think I managed to make up for all previous chapters lacking humor... but I did manage to finish the fic! Yay! *dances* However, I did leave it open for a sequal. I know most of you will probably end up reviewing something that looks like this:  
  
"SEQUAL! SEQUAL!"  
  
And I don't mind, but if you do write something akin to the above, add a few ideas. It might take some time, but the next one might actually have a plot. (And no yaoi, reasons below.)  
  
  
  
*shameless begging* Go read my NEW FIC (that should be updated soon) Strangers. Also, go see my LIVE JOURNAL (info in bio).  
  
And also, if you would like to see the pic(s) drawn for me by my great, wonderful, awesome friend Kuroi... the link is in my bio. Thank you so much for reading and review this story... you don't know how much I appreciate it. MR. FUZZY-TAIL PLUSHIES FOR ALL! If you can get them away from Hiei, that is.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Chapter 5  
  
So That's Why?  
  
Yusuke blinked. Once, twice. Blink, blink. He looked at Kurama... blinked. He looked at Hiei.. blinked. Blink, blink. Then he passed out.  
  
"Eh..." Kurama said, crawling forward a little bit. "Is he okay?" He reached forward to poke Yusuke's shoulder, thought that might not be such a great idea, grabbed a pencil and poked him with that.  
  
Poke, poke.  
  
He looked over at Hiei, who moved a little closer, poking Yusuke with his katana. Luckily he used the hilt and not the blade. That might have hurt the human a little more. But just a little. Hiei shrugged and turned back to Kurama, who resumed poking Yusuke with the pencil.  
  
Poke, poke.  
  
Nope, nothing.  
  
Poke, poke.  
  
Oh, he twitched!  
  
Jab, jab.  
  
Oops, now Yusuke is chasing Kurama around his bedroom, screaming death threats. Hiei managed to stick his foot out at the exact moment that Yusuke passed him, effectively tripping the human. Just Yusuke's luck, he landed on the very pencil that had so rudely brought him back to consciousness. Too bad for Kurama, that was his favorite pencil. The roles reversed and Kurama began chasing Yusuke around the room, waving the pencil pieces and screaming death threats.  
  
"So that's why you let him tease you and dress you up and fuss over you?" The ningen asked finally, after Kurama had grown tired of chasing him. He heaved himself off his stomach and sat down on Kurama's bed.  
  
"He does *not* dress me up!" Hiei retorted hotly. Literally, the temperature in the room shot up until both Yusuke and Kurama could barely tolerate it.  
  
"Baby, calm down!" Kurama panted, tugging at his clothing and fanning himself wildly with one hand.  
  
Hiei reddened at the nick-name but otherwise allowed the heat around himself to cool.  
  
Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Fine, you two don't play dress up." He amended, and thus his life became threatened when Hiei attempted to hurl himself at him and beat the boy to a bloody pulp. He was saved by Kurama, threatening to throw away Mr. Fuzzy-Tail, the stuffed bunny that Hiei protected with his life. "But that's why you're so close? You're not romantically involved or something..." his voice trailed off.  
  
There was a long, drawn out pause, before:  
  
"EWWWWWWWW!" Hiei choked out, "me? With him? That's like... dating your mother!"  
  
Kurama watched idly as both Yusuke and Hiei passed out. He then went to fetch another pencil.  
  
Poke, poke.  
  
Nope, nothing.  
  
Poke, poke.  
  
===  
  
Tears poured down Shiori's cheeks, though she was smiling proudly. She was currently spy-- waiting for the opportune moment to ask her son a question. It wasn't her fault that the three boys in Shuuichi's bedroom were having an important discussion.  
  
She decided the opportune moment had passed long before and simply stepped into the room. She was a mite surprised when she saw Hiei, the little boy she had knit booties for, chasing Yusuke around the room with what had to be a plastic sword. He was also screaming death threats. Her son was watching the whole thing with an amused, but proud smile on his face.  
  
She cleared her throat and all movement in the room stopped. Except, Yusuke fell over a chair. And the chair somehow managed to land on top of him.  
  
"Er... Ohayo 'Kassan!" Shuuichi said, covering up his surprise with ease.  
  
"I'm a grandmother!" Shiori said happily, moving with speed that surprised all in the room so that she could hug Hiei. Hiei disappeared under the attack with a string of curses.  
  
Smack!  
  
"My baby did not raise you to have such a potty-mouth!" Shiori scolded the bewildered Hiei.  
  
"Er... 'Kassan?"  
  
"Minamino-san?"  
  
"...Obaasan?"  
  
Shiori smiled prettily. "I don't mind if you're a demon, Shuu-kun," she said in that same happy voice, cuddling Hiei a little closer to her. Her mind was already whirling with ideas of redecorating the guest bedroom for her 'grandson' and thoughts of booties she could knit, or shopping trips she could take him on. "But I'm so proud that you raised this little guy all on your own! It must have been so difficult!"  
  
Hiei growled and began to fight to get out of her grasp. He was *not* a little guy! Unfortunately, Kurama had been much more fussy as a child so Shiori's grip stayed sure, and Hiei stayed right where he was.  
  
"Er... Minamino-san?" Yusuke said worriedly, finally untangling himself from the chair. "I don't think Hiei can breathe..."  
  
"That reminds me," Shiori said randomly, obviously nothing had reminded her of anything, the thought just popped into her head. "Did you ever give that pretty little doll to 'Kina?"  
  
Kurama blinked. "Eh..." he said in an unsure voice. "I don't think so..." He reached into his personal space and began searching around. Finally, *finally* after nearly twenty minutes, he pulled out a beautiful doll that was worth millions. It was still in perfect condition, even after four hundred years. "I guess not." Kurama said with a nervous laugh. He didn't look at Hiei.  
  
Hiei growled. "You lied!" He shouted, lunging at Kurama. "You told me you'd give it to her!"  
  
"Where was I supposed to find her?" Kurama retorted. "How was I supposed to get it to her? Its best this way because now *you* can give it to her!"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"You don't have to tell her your her brother or anything... but a certain birthday is coming up, don't you remember?"  
  
"A birthday?" Shiori's eyes gleamed. "Oh, Hiei-san! How old will you be? What would you like?" She hugged the boy in her lap a little tighter.  
  
"Eh... Minamino-san," Yusuke said for the second time. "I *really* don't think he can breathe..."  
  
"We'll have to put him in school of course," Shiori continued, oblivious to Yusuke's concerns. "I wonder if they sell uniforms in his size..." She hugged Hiei a little surer and sent a blinding smile at her son. "I will, however, still be calling you 'Shuuichi', regardless of your past name." She said calmly. "And you'll be helping me play for his birthday party. Invite 'Kina as well."  
  
Kurama sighed but nodded. "Hai, 'Kassan. But her name is *Yu*kina, not 'Kina."  
  
Shiori nodded, "ah, hai, hai... Yukina- I got it." She sniffled. "I'm a grandmother of twins!"  
  
Nobody noticed that Hiei's eyes had gone almost impossibly wide at the mention of school. They noticed however, when he began screaming.  
  
"I'm not a ningen! I won't go to school! You can't make me! I won't wear pink! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!" He howled and ranted for nearly two hours.  
  
===  
  
"I can't believe you managed to make me..." Hiei muttered a few days later, picking at his pink school uniform.  
  
Kurama smiled at him and continued dragging him down the hallway. "Don't worry, Hiei-san," he said calmly, stepping neatly to the side as a group of girls attempted to latch themselves around his waist. "School will be fun. Ne, Yukina?"  
  
The girl smiled happily at Kurama, before turning a blinding smile at Hiei. "Hai, Mama." She chirped. "We'll have lots of fun together, Oniisan!"  
  
Hiei glowered. Baka fox. Baka Obaasan, Baka school! Baka stalker girls! Baka, baka, baka! He didn't want to go to school! Why were they making him go? Why did Yukina have to be so smart and figure out that he's her brother? The doll wasn't that big of a give away was it? Hiei sighed and put on hand in his pocket, feeling the comforting softness of his Mr. Fuzzy-tail. At least he wasn't go through with this alone.  
  
Fin.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Hiei: Yay it's over!! *dances*  
  
Kurama: Eh... what was that all about? Did she leave it open for a sequal? *sweatdrops*  
  
Hiei: NANI!? *runs away*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Er... don't hurt me cause I ended the story. Just, please review. In a year or so, there might be a sqeual... *might* Unless some happy person is willing to write a sequal for me. *hopeful grin* Just make sure you ask, 'cause I'll want to read it. ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
REVIEW!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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